Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
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Comments (186)
matt04_fml 0
Haha wtf small dick haha
Mad_Marionette 4
Ouuuuch.
cupcakemonster12 0
Ouch what? God people are stupid not to understand the concept of love it means you love THEM not their dick
asterik99 3
Yeah agreed but not his Johannesburg, something bout calling someones baloney pony cute just isn't right.
laughinmyfaceoff 3
exactly, its all in the mind, i mean thats where everything starts, **** what society says, what people may lack in a few inches, can make up for in personality, smarts, other looks... theres so much to a person besides that part, but sadly there are alot of "pretty" people out there who are just living there life to do just that be "pretty" its sick and its sad. real people turn me on, thats why some women like what they like to say as "nerds" because one, women feel more comfortable around them, two, they have usually more substance, and more goes on before getting right down to it. ftw. oh and id also like to add your gf is a bitch for saying that to you. so fh too
SidneyOdom 0
R
winking16 0
LITTLE D HAHAHAHAHA LOL
Lexiluvsyou 3
HAHA, wow that is sad. What a bad girlfriend.
Draikon 6
Of cause size matters, i have been with quite a few girls and i would know. Size do matter to a certain degree, there is too big but there is certainly also too small. Anyone who don't believe this obviously never had sex with more than 1 or 2 women. But fear not there is something you can do, learn how to please her with other measures and you should be okay, othervise try stretching it alot?
cupcakemonster12 0
I'm a girl and I say size doesn't matter
skinflint 6
so you have a small build and you have a small rod. you need a small girl (meaning a girl who doesn't want you tapping her cervix). the kama sutra talks about sex partners being physically matched.
KuroLisa 3
Its not that bad! you probably are cute so dont sweat XD