Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual "type". I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said "Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I have a doppelganger on campus who looks just like me, but way cuter. She got his phone number. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
Today, my girlfriend of three months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
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Top comments
silbern 0
when I think of an "all-American" guy I think of a fat slob that has gone to mcdonalds way too much. possibly a redneck
chveya 6
How dare you be unattractive, sir.
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Comments (92)
Crickets 0
dump that ho
chveya 6
How dare you be unattractive, sir.
xdeelishus_ 0
ouch
iljajlm 4
So what? She's dating you and she thinks you're cute. Get over it. You can't expect every girl to think you're the hottest thing ever.
allmidnighteyes 11
she likes "All-American" looking guys? Does she happen to like rejects, too?
chveya 6
Ha. Ha. Ha... I see what you did there...
Muwahaha_fml 4
Boo lame pun
mylyfesux98 3
Yay! Good pun! Boo, pessimistic arsehole.
silbern 0
when I think of an "all-American" guy I think of a fat slob that has gone to mcdonalds way too much. possibly a redneck
Emperor_Jim 0
Stereotypes are a real time-saver, huh?
maggiewalters 17
hahahahah after reading this FML i immediately thought: "that's his definition of all-american looking guys"??! hahaha
spitfire35 3
My thoughts exactly
Hugorgy 0
I think of Alfred F. Jones.
Alysin 14
You're so ignorant it's not even funny..
Lyldee 0
Obviously, your girlfriend is not just attracted to "All American" looking guys if she's dating you.
brandnewkey 14
I feel like America is about to get verbally pwned by people that disagree with that from other countries...
npk88 0
no doubt. Sad but what can we do?
MrMaD_fml 2
hit it a couple times, make her your ''old'' girlfriend, and save yourself the headache.
iljajlm 4
Or he could not be an asshole about it and just break it off and not use her for sex.
MrMaD_fml 2
yea...where's the fun in that...besides, on a positive note, getting used for sex by a guy who's just ''cute'' to her may be humbling.
iljajlm 4
There's a huge difference in taking a small blow to your ego, which is easy to get over, and getting used by a guy she might really like, which can scar somebody. She didn't do anything wrong besides say something that came out wrong. For all we know she could have said it as a joke and OP is turning it into an insult. And sex shouldn't be just about "fun". It should be about experiencing something special with someone you love and care about. And whoever uses women for sex and nothing else is a complete ******** in my opinion.
MrMaD_fml 2
well, it's unfortunate that your internet opinion is so strong....but shit, someone's gotta be a ********..
iljajlm 4
Yeah that's a great philosophy there. Makes a ton of sense.
MrMaD_fml 2
Thanks, glad we could come to an agreement.
The__Redneck 7
And you fulfil that duty iincredibly well.
MrMaD_fml 2
lol, duty. (sound it out) and man, as a redneck, you should be agreeing with me, I'm a little disappointed.
null_fml 11
iljajlm - I think FML screwed up your user account or something. It's putting a blue box around your user picture at the bottom left there, instead of a pink one.
MrMaD_fml 2
LMMFAO, I'm new to FML, but after about 30 second of wondering wtf you mean, I got it...haha ..good times.
MrMaD_fml 2
it shows.
GreenRupee 0
And? If you'd be her mr. perfect she soon would be bored with you and would look for some other guy.