Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
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Comments (186)
jobsman99 0
Size really doesn't matter. And at least she will be able to deep throat you without gagging.
iMagzzzy 0
Cute guys finish in the shower.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It's probably possible, you know.
leadman1989 16
You should have done the line from the goodfellas What do you mean it's cute? I mean cute like it's a clown? It amuses you?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Since when are clowns cute?
cupcakemonster12 0
Clowns scare the crap out of me..
Akers_L7 8
Wow...FYL indeed. Having ur dick called cute is worse than having it being called small IMO
structuredchaoz 4
Say if your ****** was on any other girl it would be fat.
citronmanu 0
loll !
ericb8272 2
Say "your vagin looks like sleeve of wizard"
drloves69 4
she was just making small talk
Taylo12237 5
I See what u did there
CuteDumBlonde64 11
But size does matters :-)
crushedone 7
Dum indeeds.
cupcakemonster12 0
Size does not matter it's not good to love someone for size rather than the way they treat you and there personality
dubstepp 15
Not really?!?! Not everything is just Hot or sexy on a guy
1dude1fml1 0
Practice practice practice or ur ******. It's not about size its about what you can do lol