Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
dogpup4 23
Tell her if her breasts were on any other body, they would be considered saggy, but on you they're small.
Nitronie 3
Aw, that's so sweet xD
lizliz23 0
haha 151 tht sucks 4 u but size is important
cupcakemonster12 0
It really isn't if you look at there personality
justanotherhuman 21
...you sound like you're headed for the proportion-royalty! Cheers to future FML's!
xfyre 11
at least i'm not the only guy who has a "small" one...
pvtgrey6289 4
...um...shit...well maybe...damn...nothing I could say would be a silver lining to that comment. Upgrade your sex skills so next time you rock her world and bet you she won't...actually she'll probably still call it cute but you know and she knows you can work what ya got. Oh yea and fyl indeed. Nothing on a man should be considered cute unless you're under 10. Just sayin
katyglaze 3
I'm sorry. Just do the best you can with what god gave you - and you can always do an amazing job with "special kisses." That will make up for some of it.
clementine00 1
well you must be short and have a tiny build, and if that's the case, then it would just be strange for you to have a a really large penis. Plus, coming from someone who has a nd with a decently sized member, its not a bad thing to be a Tad smaller because whenever we have sex I get sore, so you guys can probably have sex much more often and she won't be sore. She should be dam glad :)
butterflyz1961 2
"Cute" doesn't get the job done.
justanotherhuman 21
...it seems to for the Disney crowd.
justanotherhuman 21
That felt wrong. Stopping now.
danz123 7
FYL man, people think it's OK to joke about guys in that way, but as soon as we comment on whether a girl looks fat or not, or has small boobs or whatever, there's an uproar. Ah, society. At least she tried to be a little more coy about it, but that still doesn't really help.
cupcakemonster12 0
All of the people who think size matters are wrong it's all about personality and if size matters to you your a **** or a jerk who can't see past looks