Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
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Top comments
TheGuyOverThere 0
That's teenagers for you.
I_Own_Ubers 0
haha I guess i only find that funny cos I am 16, hardly an fml, more like my life is perfect cos my child has a wonderful sense of humour
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Comments (72)
SupaSwaggin 0
LOL
st4rbucksisevil 0
You ever see that Shakespeare play where a king asks his daughters how much they love him and two of them say they love really much and the other one says she loves him "as a daughter loves a father, as he loves her" and then he banishes her and the other two turn on him. I think it was called king Lear. The point I'm making is that if you banish your 16-year old your 7-year old will gouge your eyes out.
Radiohead_fml 0
Omg, first of all love isn't expressed in words, second you don't understand teenagers.
misscourtenayyxx 0
Whats with the totally negative image of teenagers? They're only as bad as you raise them. I've certainly never had any problems telling my parents that I love them. Its obviously the idea that they're going to react like that, that ultimately teaches them to act that way.
st4rbucksisevil 0
#64- A lot of teenagers would probably have no problem telling their parents they love them. Asking HOW MUCH they love them is just fishing for complements though.
prettystoopid 0
I don't think that's a FML, I think thats HILARIOUS!
adrienrain 5
Haven't you ever read King Lear? That's just asking for disaster.
guy_on_the_couch 0
LMAO! That's kids for ya.
LBrink90 0
King Lear anyone?
Panther_fml 0
Oh please will someone explain to me how the F*** this is an FML? at least the Teen was polite enough to ask for the window to be rolled down.