Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
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Top comments
TheGuyOverThere 0
That's teenagers for you.
I_Own_Ubers 0
haha I guess i only find that funny cos I am 16, hardly an fml, more like my life is perfect cos my child has a wonderful sense of humour
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Comments (72)
DJ_Chutfield 4
Talking about love and shit is embarrassing to teens, so he dodged the question with humour. This is not an FML.
Bunbu 8
You deserve it for being one of those creepy moms who ask how much their kids love them. I tell my mom I love her all the time and I'm 16, but it's weird if you ask.. Besides, I would've waited until the stench of my fart wafted up to the front seat and gagged you. :3
TwoZeroOZ 2
Agreed x 1000. "How much do you love me?" Translates easily into "I have serious self esteem issues, and somehow think it's your job to make me feel better - since I can't do it myself."
hawkloverr 0
King Lear. Ha ha. Read it.
NO_LOVE_fml 0
hahahahaha
tedwin223 0
well that is a 16 yr old for u! when they are young they are cute and are always asking u good questions. when they get older they inform u that u know nothing and they are sure that the know everything.
happy_animal_lov 0
YDI for dishing for compliments
happy_animal_lov 0
*fishing. god damn touch screen
gymdiva1 0
what did you expect?
Anunnaki 0
YD, for having a teenager and knowing by now its a stupid thing to ask a teen such a question.
blooglekoogle 0
it would have been a better fml if it was reversed.
smiiileyyy 5
:L