Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
She loves you enough to mark you with her scent, that should keep the other women and dangerous predators away from you.
helennaa 0
Oh my goodness. Well, at least she's honest. How do you even respond to something like that?
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Comments (84)
helennaa 0
Oh my goodness. Well, at least she's honest. How do you even respond to something like that?
DrPluton 0
I don't think anybody loves anybody else all of the time. There are quite a few times when my parents haven't loved each other, but they always make up later.
winterharte 0
I would want to disagree with you on that one, but mostly cause I'm madly in love myself so I wouldn't be able to tell :P Also, it looks to me as though the OPs wife was just making a joke :S
skyttlz 32
72 at first I thought u said u were madly in love with yourself
xNephilim 19
Uh, I don't know about any of you, but whenever my fiancé fight, I don't just automatically stop loving him. I get irritated and mad, yes, but I still love him with all my heart.
QTp13 10
It is women like that, that make all us other women look bad. What a bitch!
saimaali 0
I agree. Absolutely.
havetoadjust 0
i would do that jokingly, maybe its just her sense of humor!
Shiva_fml 0
lol really. i mean thats just overly gross.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#2 ???????? You mean, because she isn't sure of loving her husband at all times anymore, she gives a bad name to women as a whole? What the heck?? Are you from Afganistan? Sure, marriage is holy and wonderful, but heck, women don't belong to men and they have their own feelings too. She could have said "no"... The fart was just funny, who knows whether it was purposeful or not.
DizzyVulps 0
true, but I think she meant the fart
imnutsss 0
nawww that shit was sexy as hell!!!
lexi050 0
I would do that hah
grimmelok 0
Well, then. You got your answer. :
SweetestSin 4
I am guessing you won't ask her that question again. Although I feel for you my husband doesthings like that to me :-(
allstate68rt 0
That's because he's a man.
brakakakaka 0
It's okay for a man to have the emotional depth of a brick wall, but when a woman does it, she's a total bitch?
pancakegremlin 0
It takes alot to love someone all the time. But still she seems like a biatch!
dandg1010 0
my fiance are like that......it's all in good fun!
SillyPoop 0
Ha ha, Theres so much humor in this. Love it. There needs to be less serious relationships out there! Yesterday I was asking my b/f to help me do something...he walked right by me and farted...and laughed. Did he help me...no...but I found the humor in it...and I got him back later.You should have farted on her! DUH! and its not that she doesn't love you, I'm sure you just annoy her...you are her HUSBAND! Far from an FML.
ecxj00 0
Depends on the relationship. If my GF did that I would probably take it as a joke. It would still be disgusting because chicks aren't supposed to fart but I wouldn't care. Their relationship could be different though. maybe she really does only love him sometimes, and maybe her farting was a sign of disrespect. Either way, women shouldn't fart.
haildixie 0
"Either way, women shouldn't fart." Whatare we supposed to do, then? You're an idiot.
mrquicknet 0
This is kind of how I took it. It sounds like a couple confident in who they feel about each other where its ok to tease and be playful.
diet_otaku 0
i'm agreeing with everyone except #30. this is the sort of thing i'd do if i had a husband, it's just playing around. as for #30, i hope the next girl he's in bed with gives him a good ol' dutch oven.
ruzicat 0
grosssssssss
Peroxide 3
So she only tells the truth when she farts on you? "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" *lets huge fart rip*
lickmyjock 0
yer fault fur not stickin it in 'er pooperz
No_Heart 0
This comment has gotten me through some hard times, I'm going to get this tattoed on my face.
jamie_leeann23 0
That's really gross, it's one thing to fart, but on your the leg... Ew come on now, have some class. Your lady is gross dude.