Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, my motorcycle was stolen from the 4th level of my “secure” gated parking garage. I strategically park it tightly between my car and a concrete wall to limit theft opportunity. They scratched my car trying to get it out. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
His tires don't really need that air..
JoeGrant 12
Can't you get his plate number? I'm sure if you get that, as well as take a picture of the situation, you'll be able to prove he is liable and make him pay for any damages.
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Comments (167)
UnluckyGenius 21
I hope you sat on his car waiting for him to return.
geekpower_fml 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're 27, and the owner of that car is actually a 12 year old. Isn't that right? Had to be. He'll bully you forever.
nightbirdblue 27
You were just trying a bit too hard to connect FMLs.
skehar 23
His car doesn't really need window wipers... Just hope he doesn't notice until you're long gone!
StacyRenae 9
His car seems like a pretty fun ramp right about now.
SleeplessBeauty 12
Bro, that's what keys are for. I'm sure he'd love to come out to a new paint job :)
LyraAlluse 25
Some people are highly rude. I hope there was no damage to the bike. If there was, I would get the insurance company involved. If not, just remember that there is this little thing called karma and it does go around.
oh_lordy_me 18
It would be a shame if he came back to popped tires...
asherm 15
Pull your bike out and if the foot rests or handle bars accidentally scrape down the side of his car-oops!
Kylias 6
"Sorry, my bike must have slashed your tires on its own while I wriggled it loose from your deathtrap. Whoops."
thatkidhesh 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
casually joking about vandalism. clearly you've never had a car keyed before.
narrowords 18
You can joke if it's justified vandalism.
thatkidhesh 11
that makes no sense. nice try tough guy.
Neyuu 18
#60 - Pushing someones motorcycle against a wall is vandalism. You wouldn't run over a bicyclist because you felt you needed the lane more than him, would you? There are laws stating that a bike is allowed an entire lane space (or parking space) just like any other vehicle.
thatkidhesh 11
there are laws on parking spaces regarding bikes? do feel free to cite one. oh right, there aren't any.
TheDrifter 24
There are actually. North American law states that no more than two motorcycles may share a spot, that a bike parked on the line in a parallel parking situation is considered illegally parked and that a vehicle other than another motorcycle parked within a marked stall already occupied by a motorcycle is illegally parked. If you are old enough to drive you should know these basic traffic facts.
thatkidhesh 11
not one on a car and bike parked together in a stall yes? exactly.
hashshim 23
108: Reread the comment. Now look at the last law. exactly
junkman6 22
@thatkidhesh. You are either a troll or a special needs kid judging by the comments you make. If you are special needs I am sorry for being mean to you. If you're a troll, just stop man, you suck at it.
badguy500 4
some people just need to be taken out and shot in order to make life better and that a**hat is one of those people
thatkidhesh 11
over a parking space? the car driver is an ass, you're flat out psychotic.
vettle 6
It was a joke buddy
VeganVampyre 27
It's not much of a joke to threaten murder over something like that... "You cut me off, you deserve to die! ... Haha, joking" "I can't believe you ate the last cookie! The world would be better if you were dead! Lol I'm just kidding" No. Not a joke, just pathetic and possibly psychotic.
deepunder 17
Reminds of the song "Don't Eat My Food" by Spychostick. Only with burritos