Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my sister and I heard a buzzing noise in our parents' bedroom, so we went to investigate. It was coming from a drawer, so we opened it. Inside, a battery-operated dildo was flapping around. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
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Top comments
156496845646 5
You're the one going through someone else's stuff. And without permission. I don't know why you feel like you are the victim.
RebeccaMcQ 15
You did it yourself. No respect!
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Comments (17)
aerith105 14
why would you be opening her drawer in the first place? I'm pretty sure you should ask before opening drawers SMH. I mean she probably let you in her room but still you don't open drawers without permission lmao
RebeccaMcQ 15
You did it yourself. No respect!
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
who knew an old woman would have a ***** 😮🙄 🙃
RichardPencil 32
Was her ***** purple?
156496845646 5
You're the one going through someone else's stuff. And without permission. I don't know why you feel like you are the victim.
Sinshine 28
You deserved that. Don't ever go through other people's things without their permission. That's just disrespectful.
julfunky 29
Why the hell are you going through someone’s drawers for a PEN? FFS it must be dreadful to live with you.
mas12806 24
You’re so understocked on writing utensils, that you have to share one with 2 other people?
RichardPencil 32
It would be ironic if she were looking for a purple pen and found a purple pen-is.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Annie's Boobs has your pen, but you'll have to wait for Ken Jeong to get it back for you.