Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
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Top comments
xNephilim 19
Sigh... This is just stupid. You're using slang yourself. The last time I checked, 'fucktard' was no real word.
meganl_fml 0
ugh one time i was looking for a pic to upload of me and found one of my mom and her toys i was scared for a long time after that
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Comments (53)
carlyr 0
wow thats hilarious- no offense
greenman_fml 0
you should wear it as a helmet around the house and act like nothing is going on. that'll show her
spideyboy 0
HAHAHA, oh man that is hilarious, what did you do after you found it?
ryandanish 0
dont ask dont tell.
meganl_fml 0
ugh one time i was looking for a pic to upload of me and found one of my mom and her toys i was scared for a long time after that
The_Dame 0
HAHAHA #4. Classic.
09SoFine 0
been there my friend....
basketballbabee 0
*****. haha.
cra_z_turtle 0
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! traumatizing.
greeneggsnsam 0
"Today, my son found my playtime toy. He is walking around the house with a helmet on. I am worried. FML." agreed with 16, extremely traumatizing.
CEina 0
EWWWW! LMAO sucks to be you.. :)