Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
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Top comments
UndeadMongrel 7
At least your dad is trying to be supportive, you should be appreciative.
your_ma 27
A bit awkward yeah but to be fair is heart is clearly in the right place and he's trying to be nice.. He could have been a horrible homophobic dick about it!
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Comments (214)
perdix 31
Science! He blinded me . . . with semen!
kurodansei 16
there are just some things they're not ready to joke about yet. =(
jakeydudey 13
Surely if you were experimenting, how old are you, surely not old enough to even be on this website?
kawaiisakura 12
I never knew that there was an age limit to experimenting...oh wait, that's because there is no age limit.
nerdchic 5
Wow. Please jakeydudey.. Take your ignorance somewhere else. Btw when you try new things its called "experimenting!" Duh Op it's good to have an understanding father. Maybe it's the same awkward talk like when parents catch their kid *******...
kinky44 28
Do you like fish dicks?
cb1002630 11
He was just trying to be helpful. You put yourself in that situation, and it sounds like you are a little too young to be experimenting anyways if you got in trouble with both his and your parents.
DjeePee 25
Let's see, who's more likely to experiment with their sexuality: teenagers or grown-ups... Hmm, that's a difficult one.
cb1002630 11
Who's more likely to get an STD from experimenting? Teens or adults? So yeah OP is probably too young
mansen 15
teen years are where a person really tries to start to find and form their identity outside of their social group. So makes complete sense. Better to find out younger than live with questions and denial, have a family, experiment, find out and potentially devastate your partner with that person wondering why or how etc. Stds can happen to anyone. Proper education and precautions used and one can go safely explore their identity. Don't be so quick to put your own judgements and preformed ideas on all.
cb1002630 11
I am the last person to judge on experimentation. I'm saying that you can do that when you get to college. Or out of high school. Teenagers are generally not educated as well about sex when they are first entering their adolescence. Do it when you don't have to deal with the B.S. of being caught. I don't have anything against experimentation.
SirCharles83 13
72- I think adults would be more likely to catch an STD given that both participants have probably had far more partners. If your a teen and experimenting, odds are that your partner is pretty inexperienced too.
mansen 15
problem is, is that overwhelming amount of studies show that identity forming and solidifying orientation is the hs teen years. so if you do not get the proper sex education in hs what magically happens after or in college that suddenly imparts that knowledge on you? And waiting for where you won't get caught? So, hide who you are or may be because of fear of repercussions, etc? That is...just well...talk to some people who had to suppress and repress because of that and see what they say, probably that they were not very happy at a younger age due to that and very very confused and lost. Wait until you are older can apply to many things and also to many ppl for this and other situations. For others, it can have some very negative effects.
cb1002630 11
I waited until finishing high school and am perfectly healthy
squideth 18
101, good for you, no one cares. Different strokes for different folks, kiddo. Get off your high horse and realize that not everyone has the same "morals" as you do.
cb1002630 11
It's called defending an opinion. I don't have a high horse.
superrocket19 17
Notice how each one of your comments has negative or buried votes cb.....
cb1002630 11
I am really sorry if I offended any of y'all.
hawright 13
This sounds like a terribly awkward situation. I am sure he was just trying relieve the tension, much like you and your friend were...
tishtashbat 16
While it's obviously TMI and a pretty awkward situation, sounds like he's pretty supportive. My friend's dad found out his friend's son was gay, and his way of being supportive was to say 'och well, doesn't matter if he likes it up the arse, he's still yer lad'. Some people just have a way with words.
monnanon 14
i dont know about anyone else but i found the comment really sweet. a bit rough around the edges but we Scots dont really sugercoat anything :)
tishtashbat 16
Oh yes, definitely. He's a gruff Scottish farmer so that's just how he speaks, he's actually very sweet :)
123man 11
I assumed by "experimenting" he meant with drugs. His dad was only given that extremely vague word too and so he assumed it mean sexually. That would make the car conversation even more awkward: Kid tried pot, dad admits to slobbin' the knob.
SpicyDuck 22
I think you missed the part where his friends parent called his, who probably walked in on them not doing drugs. Plus, I think OP would have clarified that his dad misunderstood him if that were the case..
123man 11
The word "experimenting" was used. It never said what the parents told the dad, so I'm not sure what you think I missed. It would make sense for the parents to have simply used the word "experimenting" as the FML indicates. I'm sure the kid did clarify his dad's statement, but the info would already have been said. And really, it makes it a much more legit FML if the kid was really experimenting with drugs rather than dongs. As 90% of the commenters have pointed out, if the son is gay, the dad is showing empathy and thus, there's no reason to say, "FML."
SirCharles83 13
57- empathetic parents or not, getting caught experimenting with your buddy sounds pretty FML worthy to me.
RedPillSucks 33
Not sure why 123man is getting thumbed down. A misunderstanding of "experimentation" by the dad plus his revelation of his sexual experimentation would be FML worthy if the son was indeed experimenting with drugs rather than sex.
perdix 31
"Thanks for the 4-1-1, Dad, but we were experimenting with making a volcano out of baking soda and vinegar."
123man 11
Ahh, nice to see someone else also took the route of "maybe 'experimenting' doesn't mean sex."
outoftown 27
61 - From Perdix? Don't get your hopes up ;)
perdix 31
#87, this time #61 is right. I do my best to be a little bit . . . *lowers sunglasses* unpredictable ;)
outoftown 27
And you do it so well, Perdix ;) Nice to know we can count on you for a good turnaround!
Objections 5
How old was your dad the first time?
BobbieH 19
You're quite the ingrate. Do you have any idea how many boys who experiment or realize they are gay live in fear? A friend I grew up with was caught experimenting when he was 14 with another boy from school. His dad wasn't as understanding as yours; he threw my friend out on the street and they've never spoken again, over 20 years. Get some perspective.
superrocket19 17
Yeah sounds like something my dad would do. Except I'm not gay so not for that reason......