Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
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Top comments
UndeadMongrel 7
At least your dad is trying to be supportive, you should be appreciative.
your_ma 27
A bit awkward yeah but to be fair is heart is clearly in the right place and he's trying to be nice.. He could have been a horrible homophobic dick about it!
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Comments (214)
pwnman 33
Well the good thing is that your dad was positively nice to you. You find very less fathers who don't yell at their kids for masturbating, sexing, etc towards their children, and it's possible that your dad was joking.
1994bitches 12
so who was pleasuring whom?
HeartOfLead 24
Are you Kevin Hart?!
Shonnygrl 8
He sounds like the dad from Easy A haha
Inked0803 12
If ya feel like playing for the other team step up to bat
wvcheesehead1 9
This is amazing, op was doing chemistry at svfriends, this scares and confuses the friends parents, they call op's parents AMD his father outs himself. Remember experimenting does not always mean sexually.
madgrinchhatter 12
Ask him for tips
yaoifreak 8
aww such a sweet dad
nvo 6
That's a pretty awesome dad you have. So many men would never have the balls to admit their own explorations. Would you have felt less awkward if he had been icy cold and silent? Or if he had been freaking out over this? C'mon, this is the best possible response you could have hoped for! He loves you, no matter what (or whom) you do.
songtrees 8
I admit, your father's choice of wording was not the best, but at least he wasn't an asshole about it. He could have reacted A LOT worse, but instead, he tried to comfort you by sharing a secret from his own past. Would you rather have him bully you or freeze you out, or even worse, beat you? Open your eyes, OP. You are damn lucky to have a dad like that.