Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least he isn't homophobic. Your life would be a lot worse.
real life problems 26
Make sure to use the roommates bed so mom wont smell the gay sex and become suspicious
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Comments (27)
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least he isn't homophobic. Your life would be a lot worse.
interesting33 37
I'm not sure that's the point. The father was being very inappropriate in my view
blondie45 21
That’s taking acceptance to a whole new level 😳
Lalala579121 28
But inappropriate dads are awesome. At least he has a sense of humor.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If OP's dad wasn't making a tongue-in-cheek comment, then I agree.
Lalala579121 28
Tongue in cheek? Don't you mean dick in cheek?
JustALesbian 16
Exactly, I was flat out kicked out for being lesbian but it’s still embarrassing I guess. I don’t really know
real life problems 26
Make sure to use the roommates bed so mom wont smell the gay sex and become suspicious
Lily_Rain77 25
Well that's.... supportive...
RichardPencil 32
With family support like that, it sounds like you might want to go back into the closet.
Charlie Given 28
At least he's trying to be supportive by cheering you on 😌
blondie45 21
Sounds like Dad might want to come out of the closet himself...
yarani 26
Go on then, make your dad proud! Be the very best at what you do.
Glowworm56 27
Seems like Dad's not only okay with it, he's got a sense of humor.
darkshadus 10
I think it means he likes your boyfriend and wants him around so suck the skin off of it
Peggy Papez 7
Inappropriate humor is part of the parents "coming to terms" process. Embarrassing - yes. But, far far better than the insane rage, disowning and other bullshit some of us had to deal with. |