Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like each other. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
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Top comments
ambrown101 4
That'll make for an awkward ride home.
perdix 31
Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.
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Comments (174)
jadieegurl17 0
That's epic
LightningCactus 12
Sure... I don't think that's a normal thing, but whatever floats your boat.
EmilieAutumn 7
Yeah. Incest sure is great -.-
DiscoRanger 0
Either a sad attempt for top comment, or you're just a complete idiot.
choppedfisher 0
he's an idiot
Pandacupcakelove 26
2- No, that's sad.
PotterHead_DH 26
That is not epic. It's traumatizing.
ambrown101 4
That'll make for an awkward ride home.
melrose90210 10
Right?! I'd feel pretty freaking creeped out
supermattyboy 0
munch munch munch ( . - .)
nofearjenshere 12
^ Dufuq?
AFloppyWetWhale 6
Supermattyboy, lmao what are you talking about?
iBanana 17
Neh, not awkward. "So, Dad... What were you talking about with your friends?" "Oh, you know... Sith Lords..."
babe7260 30
No shit eh?!!!
nanxi 30
Well, take it as a complement... and an indicator as to how desperate your dad is, failed blind dates aside. :P
insertnameherr 11
he was probably rly upset about his failing relationships and wanted the guys to think he was "scoring that hot price of ass" for his own self esteem. OP, take it as a compliment :)
kharyll_1 0
Least your hot.
OkitaCockroach 19
You're* Sorry, brah.
KiddNYC1O 22
Lease your hot piece of ass? Lol...
iBanana 17
That would be called human sex-traffic; which is illegal.
choppedfisher 0
could be for tattooed advertisements.
lilybert11 1
Epic picture Sry it's not related
enchantiful 2
.. That's gross, I'd be extremely mad at my dad if he ever did that.. D:
thisisafunnyname 12
Me too, but part of that has to do with my being a male.
KK3137 31
I would be happy that I'm hot, mad at him for playing along and curious as to what he would say next.
lolnatalyloves 9
That's disturbing...
perdix 31
Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.
kookysoc 11
Lol good one
lerouxmaster 7
Lol GOOD ******* ONE >:-€
joshhhh14 4
I want to thumbs up, but I can't. 69 likes.
anelelabel 6
@63 I'll just thumb you instead.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Don't let him drink too much. He may actually try to score with said hot piece of ass! And that would be nasty as hell!!
CyberPunkTink 0
This is something my dad would do sober so OP should be lucky:p
1221jamw 11
60- what is wrong with your family..?
Michael_92 20
Your dad would do that sober!!! That's just damn scary.
jizzwold 21
Wow Kayla thank you for enlightening all us backwater ignorant folk
SFDEXPLORA 0
Incest isnt as bad as it sounds......... Jk that would be horrid!
prestigion 4
I read your profile and I was wondering, how can you dabble in a religion or belief system? there's really no grey area in spirituality
rexgar2000 10
slightly disturbing from your dad, but hey at least you're hot and now if you played along that would be kinda gross.
cheesecakex 5
At first I assumed you were a guy which made it even more awkward...
hahafylop 4
I also assumed that and it made me think,"Wait, what?"
Emani_Jones 0
I did too.!!!!!
onlychildFTW 34
I did too. Seems strange a daughter would comfort a dad. But he must not have a son.
mango260 9
Omg! So did I! Yay I'm not the only one xD
mango260 9
Yay! I'm not the only one who thought that! xD
stevenJB 25
Lol same here. XD
Pigeon89 34
Haha I thought they were a guy too!