Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving "chem trails", and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML
Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He's only a legitimate conspiracy theorist if he was wearing a tin-foil hat. If he didn't have the hat, then he may be right.
Potatoverse 7
Another nut for the jar!
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Comments (164)
perdix 31
You see people in a frenzy doing their holiday shopping, getting stressed to the boiling point and plunging into debt for the sake of high-stakes, competitive gift-giving? And you think it's the CIA in the mind control business?
GanJwAR15 3
The CIA already did that with crack cocaine in the late 80's to create covert funding for the Contras and mujahideen in Afghanistan fighting the Soviets during 1979-1989, whereas the LSD testing took place during 1950-1973; Project MKUltra. However, the mind control was mainly Project MKUltra. Simple research, considering it is all "declassified," per say. Lol-- Good attempt though. Regarding the contrails, another person has already answered that well. ^_^
Orhugs 11
Umm they are Chem trails... Do one google search
Randomxnp 10
They are contrails. Short for "condensation trails". Made from water vapour condensing to make ice crystals, i.e. a cloud that happens to be caused and shaped by the path of the aircraft. Ice is considered harmless in most circumstances.
Ksweety_fml 27
Shit, hey, who knows.......
Mary_victor 3
Chem trails from trains are like shit streaks on underwear.
kitsune309 15
"Where do you live? It's ******* December. How is there grass? How can you lay outside comfortably? How???" said the Idahoan.
dreadbeat69 12
I have proof that [REDACTED]
Rednomad 5
I'm wearing a gray snow cap made of tin-foil all the time. Every time I take it off, I get cold head and lost track of thought what to do next. But read some more FMLs.
jdrappi 12
These are very popular beliefs, youtube "what in the world are they spraying" and look into mkultra. Its just all maybe true
gliza 3
He's right.