Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving "chem trails", and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML
Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He's only a legitimate conspiracy theorist if he was wearing a tin-foil hat. If he didn't have the hat, then he may be right.
Potatoverse 7
Another nut for the jar!
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Comments (164)
PeachyBrie 3
My boss believed this too, apparently it is called Morgellon's disease--- yeah he's a little nuts.
Alexeon 9
Not saying he's right or wrong but it's pretty sad to see how many of you automatically label him as crazy and put all your trust into the government.
sanecatlady 13
Well I guess that explains the popularity of Duck Dynasty. Oh yeah, here come the thumb-downs...
AudioBoss 12
Chem trails are a thing. Mind control however, not so much.
Mary_victor 3
such creativity such imagination wow. right.
Tballz62 2
Hey I've heard that two it's about the illuminati an depends only some planes...
UsernameTaken14 18
Yeah... Don't believe him. Those trails are actually water vapor that the engines condensate as the take in the air :)
5destroyer35 20
You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?
sanecatlady 13
Of course, *he* doesn't think he's being brainwashed, only everyone else is. All fear-mongers and doomsayers seem to believe that only everyone else will die. Why else would they choose to continue living?
kwiist23 1
He is right. And he was still being sweet cause he was giving you resourceful info to try and protect you. You should Google it and look at all the info out there on it. You may see what he was talking about and understand