Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
smashingdiscover 0
Enemy spotted
annajane 0
Pretended to? You sure about that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (286)
annajane 0
Pretended to? You sure about that?
skizzlerz 0
My thoughts exactly
gunmania0 12
Tango sighted!
Iamnotmyself 17
He thought you were his client, that's code word for business down there in Australia.
LoveShotLemon 5
So after killing three people a man comes and looks at your dick...sounds like a nice neighborhood
Keyman1212 14
He's got his Tomahawk inbound for your sphincter. It's just a friendly display of Naval dominance, no need to piss yourself.
d0hhhhhhhhhEY 0
Atleast it was friendly
AnonymousTroll 2
Why would he piss himself when he is peeing already?
zakkyzebra 11
35, after killing two people actually. He did a Hardline of coke first.
Andrew1122 0
Someone gets their fair share of COD time hahaha
Vasin_fml 15
Well your in the bathroom, should of nova gassed him out. ;)
YayFlameWarz 9
Careful where you point that Valkyrie Rocket
iluvboobies 9
watch?v=lEaWLRYdKEw
MagicGiraffe 12
AC130 standing by...
deadrising084 1
#23 ur a winner!!!
McDougal2013 0
These comments are some of the funniest ones I've seen on here, props to you guys.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Thats what happens in prison
freshV43 0
Use a counter spy plane duh!! N00Bs smh
crymore007 11
35 if he had hardline then it's only 2 kills
swasticop 0
154- ..........
brianjman14 23
Shoot your SAM Turret at him!
iPoopMusic 0
Delta India Charlie Kilo.
KaptainKronicX 5
If he was using Ghost with a surpressed gun, he wouldn't have been spotted.
Jayrs93 11
Maybe he'll ask if your poop deck needs seamen next
thorscope 0
178- I bet very few people get that! haha
iiNfAMoUs_KiiD 3
At least he didn't call in the SR-71 aka The Blackbird lol xD
MagicGiraffe 12
164, you're just making assumptions, this man could be a hardcore gamer and enjoy the good games. Last time I check there were UAVs in MW2...
Driveshaft 5
I'm confused...
xstaticdelta 6
should've roundhouse kicked his face into the urinal
smashingdiscover 0
Enemy spotted
flockz 20
i wonder how he got a three killstreak...
CryMoreFMLs 15
I don't want to know what happens if he gets a Blackbird...
PrestonG95 7
Maybe he was using hardline lol
saIty 17
He just killed Rosie O'Donnell. She's a five kill streak however. So he still has a care package.
flockz 20
maybe when he gets the five killstreak he can unlock the napalm strike and he can piss fire.
brebisegarer 0
Maybe he has hardline.
_Oblivion_ 12
i could only imagine wut a mortar strike would be
hahalaughing 0
why do you call it your knob? come up with a better name....like......peter.(:
Ghostkiller12345 9
44: Maybe you can shut up?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Did his Gunship shoot at your Sentry Gun?
tjracer10 0
He stole a care package.
corruptblackkat 17
yeah or just smash him in the face and call it friendly fire
nitewlf12 10
Looks like you better watch out cause soon you'll have an enemy predator missile inbound. ;)
iEthan 5
Mini Submarine spotted.
JTHolloway200 0
haha I like how everyone spells really badly.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Well shoot that plane down
Ellifish 2
With your "launcher" ;)
LoveShotLemon 5
Friendly erection spotted
YayFlameWarz 9
"Attack dogs at your ready" Then bite his throat...
redsfan 4
Or get a counter spyplane. Or ghost...
chuymac 3
I like the Sam turret
theten_fml 9
92, he'd probably like that
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
OP that's when say "Friendly Counter Spy Plane inbound" amd tell him to f off
D37H100 5
this is about Black Ops. Not some Marvel bs.
upwardSpiral 4
wow that's really creepy...... find another urinal?
bthomas0319 2
Yeah that makes so much sense! Let him just pull out of that urinal give that guy another chance to look at his dick and in the process manage to piss all over the floor to go look for another urinal!
upwardSpiral 4
.....or he could just put his dick back in, and walk to another urinal.....
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
But that would be mean :( and it's not easy to stop pissing mid stream and walk around :P
variants 0
Practice makes Perfect.
aninalcruelty 0
42 ever try to piss on multiple things that are feet apart? If so then not stopping pissing you'll piss on your legs unless you walk backwards
T1A2Z3 35
Or he could just use a cubical....
revengePanda 0
ENEMY AC130!! then proceed to piss in his face
Stealthed 8
Dogs inbound! "Wait what?"..
revengePanda 0
guy in stall- "friendly care package inbound" *plop*
Stealthed 8
Guy enters stall and notices toilet paper empty... "The enemy has destroyed your equipment"
revengePanda 0
in a Mexican restaurant bathroom: "we got napalm coming in hot"
nickward5252 0
Hahahahahhahaha
nickward5252 0
Hahahahahhahaha
slushpup9696 12
I bet he was using Hardline. After that occurrence I bet he uses Hardened.
slushpup9696 12
I bet he was using Hardline. After that occurrence I bet he uses Hardened.
KaanTech 0
get a life stop playing cod play bf :D
KaanTech 0
battlefield i mean
ballesteros1992 0
Hahahahahaha!!!!
CryMoreFMLs 15
151, 152 - Don't tell people to get a life when... a) You're on FML commenting on them. b) Telling another person their game sucks _ and they should play yours. c) You don't have a life either.
TheTerenity 9
Use a SAM Turret and shoot it down!
tjracer10 0
Friendly grim reaper spinning up! (pisses all over him) Enemy down!
Zombielanddd 7
Carpet bomb inbound- Plop plop plop plop plop plop
KaptainKronicX 5
Spy Plane is Black Ops. AC130 is MW2... Duhh
LolMoqz 10
He used the Ass Clapper 130!
TheSnakeDoctor 0
Chris Smo FTA
TheSnakeDoctor 0
Chris Smoove FTW!*
Johnpinkerton 4
Ha!
erobus707 0
Haha call of duty in th bathroom :D
RedPillSucks 33
more like "call of doodie"
cptcook 0
Better ffe his ass before he asks u " is there any more room in them jeans for me"
jake1632 9
38 made me laugh the hardest. Doodie.. haha.
Zero22120 12
Oops sorry looks like I accidentally peed on your shoe....
newmxr 0
Lol awkward
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He sounds like a nice guy to me :P
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He sounds like a nice guy to me :P
austin1313 0
Or should it be hawkward lol
chiddy_bang71 0
Er... What?
KingRDM 4
lol wow epic rap battle nice one
maverick1752 16
its hawkvard dumbass, u should learn 2 read better. jk
hbcbmx 5
Shoulda counter spy planed him with a punch in the face! Or u coulda peed on him lol
starsfan_9 7
This is why I carry a tomahawk around with me.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Right...."Pretended". You just keep telling yourself that.
_Oblivion_ 12
lol ur pic matches perfectly