Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving "chem trails", and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML
Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He's only a legitimate conspiracy theorist if he was wearing a tin-foil hat. If he didn't have the hat, then he may be right.
Potatoverse 7
Another nut for the jar!
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Comments (164)
Dark_Stream 29
Time to start looking for a new boyfriend. This one is seriously brain damaged.
fivehorsejohnson 0
Don't be ignorant and look stuff up before you dismiss it. Atmospheric aerosols are a thing and they have been since the 90's. It's a geoengineering technique to combat global warming. But it never officially got approved so they do it anyway. And CIA mind control experiments are a well-known fact.
Randomxnp 10
Stop saying idiotic things. It is physically impossible to predict where such chemicals would land if you were to disperse them from high-flying aircraft. Then it is impossible to do this without the knowledge and compliance of millions of people, many of whom I know well (I am not only a pilot, but have taught many pilots, several of whom have long prior careers in the aviation business). It is laughable to suggest (a) that these people, mostly independent-minded and inquisitive, would go along with some conspiracy (b) that all the millions would stay silent. Sorry, no, (b) is utter lunacy.
fivehorsejohnson 0
The CIA WAS kidnapping people and subjecting them to massive amounts of drugs in the 60's to see if they could program subjects to do their bidding. Look up MK-Ultra. This is mainstream, factual info. If they did this in the 60's, who knows what they're up to now.
stormchaser24 24
Did he call you and your friends sheeple, that is how you know he is serious. FYI, google Operation Northwoods.
worldclassrager 41
Mind control...some how ties into airplanes...bit like the terminator a bit...
Abiskates 9
I would love a boyfriend like that
Nthabz 8
Serves u right for laying instead of lying. Wtf are u, a chicken?
Sarairwin49 22
at least he has a vivid imagination ....
Mysterion345 11
you should listen to your boyfriend
holymackeral 12
He's right ya know.