Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years, with whom I was hoping to have a future, to talk to him about it, all he said was, "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my husband is trying to divorce me because I’m pregnant, even though I’ve been told all my adult life that I’m infertile. I’ve never even had a period. He’s blaming me for lying to him because he never wanted kids. He even tried to claim it must be another guy's baby. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
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Top comments
sykokitti 15
He's an idiot
MrSarcasmic 10
see if the sight of you walking away is "sexy" enough for said sperm
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Comments (92)
sykokitti 15
He's an idiot
Uramonkey 11
Tell him to quit wearing Tighty Widies OP.
powerhunger 4
Your husband has to live with a permanent disorder and you decide to go complain on FML because of a comment he made when he was understandably upset?
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Being upset doesn't give him a right to insult his wife. Especially considering it is by no means her fault he has a low sperm count, that's a very childish way to react.
powerhunger 4
It's just a single comment and it's not like he's abusive. Get over it.
iAlissa 34
#25, she's not complaining. It's an FML. What an ignorant comment.
catwho 18
It's the fact that even after a doctor told him the problem was with him, he turned it to try and blame OP.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
23 isn't it Tighty "Whities"?
Uramonkey 11
43 - I know it is and I tried to correct it but my changes didn't save. :/ Damn you app! XD
hemz_fml 13
#25 is right people are so whiny on this site and I know people are going to thumb this down but I really don't care some people need to realize that not everyone is their friend especially on the internet
ilianaaa 8
I'm with 25. he's just trying to find an excuse to why he has slow sperm. if you were maybe a little bit sexy, he can't really put the blame on you
DKjazz 20
I used to think it was "tidy" whities
salazara 10
I think his sperm is not sexy enough for your ovum.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
ya if my husband said that to me it would hurt me greatly. I hope he apologized to you op. but I would try not to take it personal. I think men with that problem feel less of a man.. they take it way too personal as compared to seeing it only as a medical issue.
TheImaginarySong 16
There are too many stupid people in the world
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well he's got a point.
MrSarcasmic 10
see if the sight of you walking away is "sexy" enough for said sperm
Iceman225 11
And punch him in the face.
\ 28
I doubt OP'd want to bear his children now...
Sfaizi24 17
You guys overreact. He was upset in the moment. This is no damn reason for a divorce, or punch to the face
dyehardxen 19
It's good for a night on the couch, though.
arroberts 10
"My sperm don't get aroused because you're not sexy enough!" ... that's not something you just blurt out, get real. Jesus Christ. He's just a douchebag.
thatkid00117 16
Some men will look to anyone else to lay the blame
BntyHntrSeattle 30
And to lay their sperm when they're not satisfied; watch out!
cottoncandymango 17
I don't think he means to blame you... He's just incredibly upset. :/
phillysportsfan 13
I agree. That is a pretty hard direct shot at his manliness.
azwethinkweiz87 11
I still think it's a really awful thing to say. He has no reason to bring his wifes looks into the equation just because he's upset. I would be really hurt by a comment like that... :(
awkward611 26
thats called having a wounded ego
possy 19
A few too many nuts shots for that guy as child.. Have you told him the try an energy drink for his problem?? "It gives you wings" I was told!!
MerrikBarbarian 9
Sodas, which include energy drinks can actually cause a lower sperm count and reduce their mobility. Op's husband needs to lay off the drinks
kurk626 11
#40 I don't know if you're being serious or trying to go for something similar to the anti-joke chicken.
rg350dx 29
If he seriously thinks that, his sperm isn't the only thing a little slow...
DKjazz 20
People on this site tend to tell stupid people not to reproduce. Your husband saves us the trouble!
Axipiter 24
rg350dx's husband?
newburton13 26
And if he's going to blame his non-functional penis on a woman, that's when you walk away.
Poetaster 10
His sperm is the issue
Cleu 12
A caustic reply stating that he's impotent might set him straight, and if not then tell him that he has a small penis
DocBastard 40
Right, because emasculating your husband is always better than, oh I don't know, TALKING TO HIM. Idiot.
SMHsohard 22
And infertility doesn't mean the same as impotence. He can probably get it up, the swimmers are just slow off the block.
reaxion 25
#35, what's he doing to his wife by insulting her then? Certainly no less. He's a dick, if you'll excuse the connection. Could be not being able to breed is actually a blessing in this case. One less douchebag is certainly not a bad thing
Axipiter 24
Impotence is ENTIRELY different than not being able to get it off. Trust me, I know... Although I somewhat understand his frustration. Not phrased the best, but it can still be embarassing...
Axipiter 24
90, I think 35's comment was about 10's comment (too many numbers) about saying he has a small penis. I don't think he was defending OP's husband, just telling 10 what an idiot they are.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
That's so disrespectful and stupid. Insulting you because of his medical issue. Looks like you married a childish moron...
Melix 31
He probably didn't mean it, he was probably just upset -.- so he isn't really childish in my opinion, he's just hurt.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Being hurt doesn't excuse being that spiteful.
Axipiter 24
85 and 88 hit in right on the head. If you have something shitty happen to you in life, you can't just blame the first person you see. People think some bad news is the perfect excuse to take their anger out, usually, on the person they care most about. That's wrong on so many levels.