Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
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Top comments
saintsrocksocks 10
You woke up barking?
Schizomaniac 24
You woke up ba- **** you guys.
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Comments (128)
jpqm32 3
Dumbass
wowthatissad 9
You farted and woke up barking?
Xotoolyxo 16
gas-x maybe ?
Eiregal2 10
It's been so long since an FML made me chuckle. I read these as I'm trying to get to sleep but now that hope is gone as this put the funniest image in my mind.
Eiregal2 10
I woke myself up once because I accidentally slapped myself. I dreamed I was possessed and was fighting my evil me. I then slid off my satin sheets as I moved to quick due to shock and landed on the floor,hard!
ArielTheMermaid 17
You woke up barking?
outoftown 27
Whatever you and your dog are eating, I hope I'm not having it for dinner.
bobleheadNS 0
THATS ******* AWESOME
Blacky15 1
Hahaha:)
Caymokomoko 23
whrfghrm... WOOF, lol i imagine it like that