Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
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Top comments
saintsrocksocks 10
You woke up barking?
Schizomaniac 24
You woke up ba- **** you guys.
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Comments (128)
badwolfbluebox 7
Sometimes my dad does that, but minus the barking. It's pretty funny. ;)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Lol! My step-father snores himself awake. It's hilarious watching him do that.
psychobob 0
Dr who for the win :)
mario2012 18
Achievement unlocked: cheese master.
missalkali 8
this is one of the only comments that actually do fit the profile picture. I've seen comments like this so many times and I'm usually like WTF?? no, it doesn't fit. but this time it does. yeah, I also hate when people make these comments, but I'm doing it anyway, so suck it up people!
Pelvispresley 8
39- so.... You hate yourself?
Warden1986 16
But for how many points???
missalkali 8
57- maybe I do and maybe I don't. that's for me to know, and you to never find out.
pwiincezz246 2
LMAO!!!! That's hilarious and so cute!!!
perdix 31
Your dog must be traumatized!
Meggles33 1
You farted loud and you woke up barking? Wow, how'd you do that? Im not even mad. Thats amazing!
Talkryz 7
Haha my dog has done the same
BubbleGrunge 18
Am I the only one who DIDNT think OP woke up barking? :-/ I thought more along the lines of Best Friends Forever!!!!
xpaulatanx 10
You and your dog are hilarious!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
They need to make a button for that
br0ccoli 15
Dogs fart?? Before you neg me, I've never had a dog so this sounds like it shouldn't make sense.
kitsune3 20
I'm going to "neg" you anyway, because your excuse for not knowing is stupid. No offense, but it's common sense that yes, animals fart just like people do. They eat, right? So naturally, some of the things they eat will produce gas as their bodies process it, and as a result, they'll fart. It makes PERFECT sense. You're just incredibly oblivious.
Bluekaren16 19
I have had my dog for 13 years and I have never heard her fart. But I think she farts quietly because I have smelled it before once or twice. But yes they do fart.
br0ccoli 15
Yes, that does make logical sense now. I guess I didn't want to believe it because those furballs are so darned cute.
MrElephant 5
Even grandmothers get hungry.
sougstad 7
Wrong fml genius, try reading up one
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dafuq is wrong with you picture? Are you melting?
ALpein 0
Are you getting a chipmunk high?!
Pelvispresley 8
Grandmas eat farts and dogs?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't refer to myself in the 3rd person, but yes, I'm getting myself high.