Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
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Top comments
saintsrocksocks 10
You woke up barking?
Schizomaniac 24
You woke up ba- **** you guys.
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Comments (128)
Schizomaniac 24
You woke up ba- **** you guys.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
>:U Well **** you too, buddy!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
He's not your buddy, guy!!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I'm not your guy, friend!!!
M_Mellor 3
I'm not your friend, pal..
tennisrapper1 14
I guess you guys have one strong relationship, whether it's mutual or out of each others asses.
mrnuleef 7
Wow thats some serious flatulence you and your dog got going on there. You two should be the new terrence and philip!
SanchoClaus25 6
Still a better love story than twilight
NoahEibon 11
Totally agreed! :D
fizzamj 6
Omg your picture is hilarious ! :D
RokNRoll11 9
I'm glad I'm a deep sleeper because this wouldn't affect me... However I hope you fix your barking when waking up scared
saaaamscriv 9
Hahaha, I love how everyone thought the exact same thing. But yeah, my thoughts were "you woke up barking? Seriously?"
Hiimhaileypotter 53
You're part dog! Welcome to the club. I wake up barking all the time! /sarcasm
quite_bored 9
My dog side shows itself when I meet new people. Quite difficult to make friends when no one will let me sniff their butt. /notsarcasm
Fluhz 6
Cute pone pone you have theree.
TheDrifter 24
As long as it was a dry fart you're ok.
Jordan740 6
Hopefully it's not an early signal of a case of "Mud-Butt".
myalleyway 9
you woke up barking or screaming?
nado13579 12
Where in the FML does OP even say the word "screaming"? -__-
badwolfbluebox 7
Sometimes my dad does that, but minus the barking. It's pretty funny. ;)