pootie
Miami, United States
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
embarassed
United States
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Anonymous
Colombo, Sri Lanka
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Wowsers.
United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
sleeper
France
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Anonymous
Milwaukee, United States
On the down low
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Anonymous
Fort Worth, United States
Threat Neutralized
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Anonymous
United States
Alarm
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
The horror...
Luton, United Kingdom
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
irulan
London, United Kingdom
Single shot
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Anonymous
Drunk hookup ends with a… bang
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Top comments
emily689 25
I'm guessing you blew him away.
Bradley_Dillon 39
I'm jealous. :o I've never accomplished something like that.
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Comments (77)
Bradley_Dillon 39
I'm jealous. :o I've never accomplished something like that.
MortenM 17
Yea. One word sums it up: Nice
kenyalovesarah 11
Hahaha too funny! it might have been awkward then op, but you'll laugh about it later on. and I'm sorry for laughing at your at expense but this made me giggle.
False_Stupidity 42
Achievement unlocked! - Flatulence Alarm.
marulicko 19
When you achieve something as spectacular as this, it is a sin not to put it on your résumé.
Sandman366 6
Yeah, weirdly, pretty dang impressive...
davidislost 11
It's ASStounding, actually.
davidpwnage 1
what a super hero
emily689 25
I'm guessing you blew him away.
swaggalikethat 22
I'm sure he woke up GASping for air too.
crymore007 11
"Attention passengers, please fasten your seatbelts and remain seated. We seem to be experiencing some flatulence." No? Sorry
seriouslypony 9
Sounds like a load of hot air.
XxKingQuacksxX 9
That is bad and you should feel bad.
boating_guy 33
All you needed was a match and OP you could have been a walking, talking bomb threat! That's two reasons I don't want to sit next to you!!
sarah6786 14
F the person next to you's life for being seated next to fartsy.
SoapTurtle 7
what a smelly situation amirite
mario2012 18
*puts gun in mouth*
annie_nk 23
Your mouth or #6's mouth?
Turrence 9
Real original pal.
swaggalikethat 22
@16, both
mario2012 18
Did the oxygen masks deploy?
Pleonasm 36
The person beside them shot straight into the brace position, and took took the sick bag while they were at it.
perdix 31
Please return your anus to the upright and locked position.
eddeeezzyy 19
This is eddies friend Jasmine. That's an awkward comment. Haha!
ComoEsJuan 24
Jasmine, please return to your reality. We here at FML enjoy our own simplistic, sometimes humdrum existence. Thank you for your visit to FML Airlines, return again never. Have the day you have.
DeviOomaki 9
And you couldn't even open a window
mallu86 9
No. It was too cold outside.
ThatNinjaBoy 9
Thats actually pretty impressive. Gross but impressive.