Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
core01 30
Screamed from fear or anger?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
core01 30
Screamed from fear or anger?