Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
I might have just vomited a bit.
dankpotatoes 2
The salty ones are always the best
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Comments (119)
dankpotatoes 2
The salty ones are always the best
tennisrapper1 14
What the hell is wrong with you??? Eating boogers is disgusting! *Gags
Ashley0911 8
It's called sarcasm.
tennisrapper1 14
20 - I know, but it's not even funny (to me). The image is just too disgusting.
TheDrifter 24
Still not as bad as seeing a fresh one dangling from a finger while she's cooking.
ydi_4_suking 20
Oh my god 25 imagine a green and bloody one just dangling and some one just sucking at it
_Oblivion_ 12
What if they were picking each other's noses?
tennisrapper1 14
31 - Okay, you took it way to far there buddy. Do you enjoy this type of thing? xD
Bluekaren16 19
Tommy ate a booger that tasted like sugar.
NinjaAssasin720 0
Wtf that is disgusting
Glitterhinoceros 14
I might have just vomited a bit.
jjohnson26559 1
Whoa we have the same birthday.
MrSassypants 34
And thousands of other people have the same birthday too.
jjohnson26559 1
I would like to point out the same information to them as well.
Silver996 2
Why does it say boners are your BFF on your profile?
boating_guy 33
I DID just vomit a little bit... that is so nasty.
XtraXtra00Table 6
Of course you check out her profile -__-
freshberries22 17
Yea I definitely puked reading this fml I mean has no one heard of tissue it's not that difficult to come by
tennisrapper1 14
26 - Same here. This isn't the FML for sarcastic jokes or disgusting comments. That is on the same level as incest jokes for me. They're both so disturbing... XP
jjohnson26559 1
It's november 9th. In case you cared.
norotors 16
I was trying to eat. Not anymore.
wowthatissad 9
Me too. Fresh green mucus? Really? I love when I'm eating food and accidentally stumble upon these disgusting fmls. Lesson learned: dont eat anything whilst browsing the depths of this site
thatpeachyperson 12
I'm also welsh. I just thought I would share that with you.
djawesomness 0
You probably have a lot of sex bye the sight of you.
sidewaysponytail 0
Pics or it didn't happen;)
tennisrapper1 14
Who would want to see those pics? XP
bones_17 5
Put her on eBay and sell as a freak
onlychildFTW 34
Can anyone say illegal? Plus that's mean. She's OPs grandmother.
hockeychicl003 6
ya would you sell your own grandma?
bones_17 5
My grandma don't eat booger she has class
Awsumuzzie 12
54, your parents should sell you for skipping every English class in your life.
HowAreYouToday 34
I don't think anyone would buy a piece of shit that don't know no gramma'
bones_17 5
63, I Don't need grammar running heavy equipment, maybe you should worry about your career instead insulting me. I'm much more successful then your ass.
caesari 14
HAHAHAHAHAHA.... Bullshit
Awsumuzzie 12
79, Well, you do know how I live my life... You have every right to compare yourself to only one part of my body.
IdontWanna69 8
Yeah, it's not as cute watching old people do nasty things.
Glitterhinoceros 14
I don't think it's very cute to watch younger kids do it either.
IdontWanna69 8
Yeah, I didn't think that one through.
jjohnson26559 1
She's gotta get her fiber somehow.
Feared 9
Protein* , and it would be a bad source of it.
onlychildFTW 34
Gross man. It's gross when little kids do it. But wow. They say the older you get the closer you get to being young again.
flutter4 7
I feel sorry for grandma. Maybe she has dementia?
paddy4169 5
Wtf does dementia have to do with eating boogers....
KiddNYC1O 22
Maybe impaired reasoning? ^
KiiwiiRox 6
She's just trying to get those old bats out of the cave lol I work at a nursing home and they're kinda like little kids, they don't know any better. At least it wasn't worse, like storing your farts in a jar and smelling them later....
iRoc46n2 4
Storing your farts in a jar and smelling it later? Challenge accepted
tennisrapper1 14
Hopefully, they at least looked like bacon to the consumer...
trtlgrl 0
who does tht nose picking seems normal compared to tht