Anonymous · 22 September 2022, 15:30 ·Bryanston, South Africa 🌶️ Spicy

Talk tonight

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065 You deserved it 901

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Anonymous · 21 September 2022, 16:00 ·Aldershot, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

The inner light

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516 You deserved it 644

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Anonymous · 21 September 2022, 09:50 🌶️ Spicy

Whatcha hiding?

Today, I was sent to the counsellor, who had already informed the cops, because I refused to take off my wristbands. They thought I had cut my wrists. I was trying to hide handcuff marks from kinky sex, and had to explain it to the cops, counsellor, college professors and two of my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 252 You deserved it 604

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Anonymous · 21 September 2022, 08:30 ·Brampton, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Yeeted it

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213 You deserved it 4 659

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Frank · 19 September 2022, 09:00 🌶️ Spicy

We have so much in common

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years confessed to me that she had sex with my best friend before she started to date me. Funny thing is, I'm bi and had sex with the same best friend at around the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902 You deserved it 702

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Anonymous · 18 September 2022, 03:00 🌶️ Spicy

Tricky

Today, I'm so sexually frustrated that I started to fantasize about men other than my husband. The problem is I'm my recently disabled husband's carer, and the man I'm fantasizing about is the one who his ex-wife cheated on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534 You deserved it 1 366

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sure · 14 September 2022, 08:00 🌶️ Spicy

Who wears the trousers?

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that I tried to initiate sex too often, and that made me emasculating and unladylike. According to him, men should be the ones to initiate, and women should wait until the man does so. Sorry for wanting sex more than once every other month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180 You deserved it 223

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Mac · 13 September 2022, 09:30 🌶️ Spicy

Double betrayal

Today, I learned my wife has a lover. He's more handsome than me, and bigger than me. I might've been OK with it if he wasn't my daughter's boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950 You deserved it 217

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Anonymous · 12 September 2022, 18:30 🌶️ Spicy

Charlie!

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791 You deserved it 337

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Foreverjerkingit · 11 September 2022, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Not into it, sorry

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187 You deserved it 396

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emmalou · 11 September 2022, 10:00 🌶️ Spicy

Too much of a good thing

Today, I went on a date with a guy who was leaving the next day. I went out with the intention of a having a carefree good time, as a single parent I don't get many and they haven't been good in years. I ended up having the BEST night in a long time, we stayed up all night talking and pleasuring ourselves, now I don't know when I'll find that again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290 You deserved it 365

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Anonymous · 9 September 2022, 20:30 🌶️ Spicy

**** that guy (not literally)

Today, my date saw me naked, and was disgusted that 1. I shaved my pubes into a landing strip instead of completely bald, and 2. I missed a few hairs below my knee while shaving my legs. His actual words as he was half out the door were that he "wanted Princess Leia, not Chewbacca." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 252 You deserved it 294

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Anonymous · 9 September 2022, 08:00 ·Lima, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Funny guy

Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095 You deserved it 381

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Anonymous · 9 September 2022, 00:30 🌶️ Spicy

I mean, technically you can still do it…

Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120 You deserved it 460

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Anonymous · 8 September 2022, 10:00 🌶️ Spicy

The old dog has learned new tricks

Today, I had a threesome with my ex and his female friend. He went down on her almost immediately, which he never did in the 14 months that we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786 You deserved it 1 311

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Anonymous · 7 September 2022, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

The joys of parenthood

Today, I had my first "hot" dream in a while. In the dream, my husband and I finally got cozy and comfortable, but just as we were about to start our banging, our toddlers interrupted us. So, my kids are cockblocking me even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366 You deserved it 271

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IdPreferNotThanks · 5 September 2022, 15:30 🌶️ Spicy

Now you tell me!

Today, my fiancée told me I'm not her type, and that my touch is repulsive. We've been living together for over a year, and have been together for over four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 3 September 2022, 15:00 ·France 🌶️ Spicy

Kinda sus

Today, I like it rough in bed and found the perfect lover to have fun with. Now I have to choose between going to work fully covered while it's 35°C and sweat like a pig, or to go lightly dressed and show a VERY suspicious amount of marks on my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620 You deserved it 2 123

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Anonymous · 2 September 2022, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

Kinky but risky

Today, during a family visit, my wife pulled me into the bedroom and told me to talk dirty to her, while there was a risk of being caught. It's her kink, not mine. Her sister must have overheard us because I woke up in hospital. She thought I was secretly abusive and brained me with my own walking cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535 You deserved it 193

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HashiManGo · 2 September 2022, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

Fragile

Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 2 029

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Ryan · 2 September 2022, 06:00 ·Quesnel, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Listen up

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287 You deserved it 2 147

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Anonymous · 1 September 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

Sex work is real work

Today, my sister makes more money masturbating for anonymous perverts online than I do with an honest job, and she works less hours. She just bought a house for £160,000 without a mortgage; I rent a council house. She has a 20 Plate Land Rover; I have a Nissan micra FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267 You deserved it 523

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Anonymous · 29 August 2022, 00:00 ·Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Not like that!

Today, the universe smiled upon me and my longtime fantasy of seeing someone I know appear in an adult film finally came true. However, as a straight guy, I should have been more specific: I was hoping to see a woman I know appear in an adult film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 1 221

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Anonymous · 28 August 2022, 16:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bigmouth strikes again

Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602 You deserved it 1 258

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Anonymous · 28 August 2022, 02:00 🌶️ Spicy

Cougartown

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889 You deserved it 194

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Anonymous · 26 August 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

You, your sex is on fire

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 1 199

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Anonymous · 25 August 2022, 18:00

Nice try, Patricia

Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055 You deserved it 395

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Anonymous · 25 August 2022, 06:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Go-faster stripes

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We kept the lights on for a change and he asked me, "Babe, what's that on your tummy?" They're my stretch marks. Sex and body confidence ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199 You deserved it 239

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Anonymous · 24 August 2022, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bang for your buck

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024 You deserved it 609

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Anonymous · 23 August 2022, 18:00 ·Fpo, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Kinky

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086 You deserved it 289

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