Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Seems your drunk behavior results in hurting others
Yudith 28
Yow! Poor you. You're lucky you didn't set fire to your hands, the table, the bed, the bottles of sensual oils, and the whole bedroom with that. Let's hope you use wax to remove your husband's back hair next time.
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Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Seems your drunk behavior results in hurting others
Yudith 28
Yow! Poor you. You're lucky you didn't set fire to your hands, the table, the bed, the bottles of sensual oils, and the whole bedroom with that. Let's hope you use wax to remove your husband's back hair next time.
Pink_Turnips 14
it was on purpose, she was tired of the back hair and devised the perfect plan to blame it on the alcohol
RichardPencil 32
Are you really sorry that his back hair got singed off? You probably need to take this story to the sister site: FMyLife, Weeenk!😉