Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML
Today, it's been a few months since I spent about three weeks in a relationship with a woman at work, who then left me to get back with her ex-husband. For some reason she reported us both to HR for our inappropriate relationship. My future at this company now rests on a meeting I have this afternoon with HR. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML
Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
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Top comments
jc1015 25
put in a counter complaint about the unsolicited sex talk
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you're the kind of person who would ruin a friendship just because you've gone two whole months without sex, the reason women are sleeping with you seems less mysterious.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You had a threesome with your coworker and HR?
The_Real_Cvh 10
And there I was wishing I knew his ex better.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You get to know him better, you get to know her a lot better. It's a 2 for 1 deal.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you're the kind of person who would ruin a friendship just because you've gone two whole months without sex, the reason women are sleeping with you seems less mysterious.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
*aren't
jc1015 25
put in a counter complaint about the unsolicited sex talk