Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. When I woke up I found out they pulled the wrong one. FML
Today, on an 11-hour flight, I had to throw up. I managed to calmly walk to the bathroom and be violently sick in the toilet. After cleaning up, I was proud nobody had noticed and left the stall. A hot flight attendant was already waiting for me with a glass of water. FML
rubberduck_of_doom tells us more.
OP here! OMG I saw this FML and that it was from Austria and then I thought hey I'm from Austria too. Then I read the FML and thought HEY THAT'S MINE!! AND IT WAS =D.. I'M so happy =D... Just a couple of things to clarify (since 200 characters aren't nearly enough XD ): This actually happened a couple of month ago. I was on a flight home from Lima. There was this super hot flight attendant on the plane and I was ogling him everytime he passed. During the first 2 hours of the flight I felt perfectly fine and had no troubles. Then the food came and it was delicious but a couple of minutes after they cleaned up the trays I started feeling extremely nauseous. Now I travel a lot and have been on plenty of flights so far and this never happened to me before. Anyways, once I realized that I was not going to be able to hold it back I calmly got up and walked to the bathroom since I didn't want to make a fuss. Once I got there I was violently sick into the toilet. I had stomach cramps like you wouldn't believe. It hurt so much and I had no idea what was going on... After I was done I cleaned everything up as best I could and washed up as to not arouse any suspicion. I didn't look too bad (I thought) and left the bathroom, proud of myslef that nobody noticed. However as soon as I opened the door the hot flight attendant was standing there in front of the door and gave me a glass of water. Then he looked at me pityingly and asked me if I wanted some coke. I just nodded embarrased and he gave it to me. XD... I was sick like 6 more times on that flight and had cramps all the way to Paris (where I changed planes). To this day I do not know what happened to me on that flight and it hasn't happend since and I sincerely hope it doesn't happen again because this was a horrible experience. Sorry for the giant post but I always want to know the backstory behind FML's so I thought you might too ;) Thanks for all the encouraging words btw ;)
Today, I told my dad that I'm pregnant. He shook his head and said, sadly, "What a waste. You're way too young to throw your life away like this." Silly me; I was worried that at 46 I might be too old for this. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Today, I was once again escorted out of a supermarket by a police officer. I must be the only 83-year-old who still has his marbles, but people always assume I am senile and wandering from a care center. FML
Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML
Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML
Today, my doctor ordered me an EKG to help my health anxiety. I have panic attacks and feel like my heart is out of rhythm, but my doctors have all told me it’s just in my head. I got the test results. I meet with the cardiologist next week to discuss surgery. FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, during class, a student began arguing with my Algebra II teacher about whether or not water is wet. The student became so frustrated he threw a stapler across the room. Guess who got hit in the head and is currently bleeding pints in the nurse's office. FML
Today, I found out that my husband’s crazy ex girlfriend has not only moved to our area, but has also landed herself on his patient list. He’s a gynecologist. FML
Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML
Today, I was suspended for "selling drugs on campus". I was trying to give the school nurse approved medication for my severe epilepsy. I'm suspended for 3 weeks and have to go to a drug seminar. FML
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