Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with rose petals on the bed. Romantic, right? Turns out, the roses I'd bought had been sprayed with some sort of red dye. The petals stained the sheets, my hands, and our white-furred cat, who now looks like a tiny crime scene victim. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask my boss why the flowers I got her for her birthday the other day were in the conference room and not her office. She told me she was allergic to them and she had such a bad reaction that it made her go home early. I made my boss sick on her birthday. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
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Top comments
ThePaperDragon 31
But origami flowers are adorable! :(
RichardPencil 32
You should have used dollar bills as the origami paper. If you used hundreds, you’d be getting laid for months!
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Comments (35)
Wintermelons 19
Someone must not have been feeling rosy!
ThePaperDragon 31
But origami flowers are adorable! :(
RichardPencil 32
How did I guess you’d comment on this one?
ThePaperDragon 31
Haha! It must be the username. ^_^
donb23 23
so are you!
Glowworm56 27
Real roses don't last very long anyway.
Aurora25 29
Why are you with such a bitch?
RichardPencil 32
You should have used dollar bills as the origami paper. If you used hundreds, you’d be getting laid for months!
Slim87R 7
Now is the time to throw down! You must enter the gauntlet of rosedom and prove once and for all that she is worth the fire and fury! Or, you know, date someone who isn't crazy.
Moxie Mettle 10
What. A. Right. ****. **** that's awesome you made those for her.
Bubbilility 27
Clearly it took OP so long to make the flowers everyone assumed he was dead. His girlfriend clearly didn't take too kindly to a ghost on her front porch.
sharond23 10
I hope you dump her sorry ass. what a bitch!!
tounces7 28
I mean are you just now seeing that she's psycho?