Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML
All the FMLs
Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML
RabbitOfAurora tells us more.
Okay, for all of you who were wondering how this thing ended? With her mother screaming at me to "Get out right now or I'll call the police" Apparently the whole time I was there I "offended everyone" and made "the atmosphere absolutely unbearable" I was also "Vile" an "ungrateful" She knows this FML is here, and so I won't even try defending myself because I don't want an argument or something to break out over it. The last straw pretty much came when I posted a status on facebook about a conversation her mother and I had. I didn't name names, and only stated that I didn't care how overly cautious I looked for not doing X because I could hurt myself pretty badly doing it (because I am overweight and so risk of injury increases). she took this as me having a "Dig" at her. As her opinion was pretty much I should do it anyway, or that I should loose weight with diet and exercise and then do it. I found this so offensive because over the last 15 weeks or so I've lost 12 kilos, I'm also recovering from a bulging disk pressing against my sciatic nerve. I don't know if you all know how much that hurts, but at the worst I was almost passing out, vomiting, and loosing control of both my bladder and bowels, all at once, just standing up. The only reason I was okay is because I used some serious will power. That was 9 months ago. Three months ago, I couldn't even stand long enough to heat up soup because the pain was so bad. I'm actually surprised I was okay enough to do this trip anyway. I had some decent pain killers that really helped. I'm getting there in my own time. I honestly think that by this point they were looking for reasons to kick me to the curb. This girl is very, VERY different in person. Still not a bad person by any definition of the word, but so different to how I ever expected.. I'm actually still rather shocked. Guess she felt the same about me too. Pretty much the whole time, we were all pretty miserable so I came home a week early. I've been home for almost 8 hours and will be celebrating the new year with my mum. I have chosen to no longer have contact with her or her family. I'm ready to put this all behind me and start next year all new and fresh. All this was just a play by play of the last day or so, obviously things go way deeper, but this is not the place for that. If I could go back in time, I probably would cancel the trip and save all the money I spent.. Possibly salvage the friendship too. But at least on the up side, I learned a lot about who I am through this. It could have been an amazing love story, now it's a tragic romance that pretty much equates to "At least I did something with my life at one point, even if it didn't work" My fellow FMLers, I think it's important to go after what you want, even if you don't want the same thing by the end. you need to take risks and put them behind you if they don't pay off. Forward is the best way to go. I wish you all a happy new year full of wonderful stories too good to submit on this site. XOXO - Rabbit Of Aurora <3
Chill out, lady
Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML
Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML
sushichick tells us more.
Hey everyone, OP here! :) I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments, they were super helpful and many were also quite funny. My "friend" is now my ex-friend and it's the best decision I could've made because she clearly was never a friend to begin with. Thanks again, everyone! Cheers!
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
Fixed it
Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML
Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML
karachii tells us more.
karachii 5
OP here. Guess I used the wrong wording. I didn't really "beg", I did the whole apply, wait, go in and follow up thing. Only problem is that when I followed up, I gave my first name only. My name isn't that common, so I didn't realize there would be another one. They did like me, they just wouldn't have interviewed me because I didn't have enough experience. This actually happened about a month ago (had to fudge it for FML of course P: ), and since then I've gotten a different job and am working to get that experience. So happy ending :)
Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML
Weirdo
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Soul man
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML
satega tells us more.
satega 16
Op here. Figured I'd add this tidbit, the ride originally consisted of me, my mother, my sister and my mothers boyfriend. So it really wasn't s family trip at all in ether end.
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
bestnameright tells us more.
Actually when I told my humanities teacher about the project I learned that my math teacher has a degree in literature or something. 0_0
Defeated
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
Hey… you
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML