Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
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Top comments
MisterDoctor 12
Looks like someone went to the closet and.. *puts on sunglasses*.. let the dogs out.
xy798 8
Your dog came out to you. In the park. In front of other people. Sounds wonderful.
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Comments (113)
DerrickJames 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a dawg.
sleepinginclass 8
Is that supposed to be a pun?
darkmis1 18
The song from lady and the tramp popped into my head
skellingtonfart 18
Funny this was posted, today my mum witnessed my aunts three dogs doing the exact same thing!
alliewillie 22
Exactly 62, it's common. It's not a "3-way", its a show of dominance that MANY animals do. Sometimes, awkwardly enough, all the males try to be the big dog at once...
dannnngthatsux 19
Except #81, dominance 99.99% of the time doesn't include actual penetration. That just horny.
crazyCI 7
So? That's what dogs do...
MisterDoctor 12
Looks like someone went to the closet and.. *puts on sunglasses*.. let the dogs out.
sunnyt 5
New definition of 'Doggy style'
kathuzada 6
Baha, man that is funny
Wellwhateverthen 8
LOL
spekledworf 18
I think he likes it ruff
RoboCunnilingus 23
Omg, 35! Sorry for the stupid response, but you guys must see how clever that was.
codyjohn17 5
Ha, Gay!
dinorider_fml 4
71- stop being a bitch! And don't worry OP I'm sure it's just puppy love
Jjgibbs 5
Op- i am hoping that it was a threeway with two other dogs, if it wasn't that is even more disturbing
kathuzada 6
35 I have no idea what you mean by stupid response
codyjohn17 5
I was actually quoting Señor Chang from Community.
dannnngthatsux 19
#88, there is a video at YouTube of a car and dog actually &$@#ing. We're talking tied and all. Didn't have to be all dogs.
Razi_tail 25
He wanted some tail! It didn't matter what sex it turned out to be. XD
xy798 8
Your dog came out to you. In the park. In front of other people. Sounds wonderful.
anitadoody 7
And came on the other two dogs.
justin528 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That sounds doglightful
herpderpherpderp 13
these puns are painful..
mowmowlife 21
They're pretty barking mad.
megmeg3399 7
Animals do the darnedest things.
TheRandomIndian 17
Yeah my parakeets shit all over my room when I let them out
priceyfml 7
My armadillo digs holes in my flooring
RvidxrKlvn 8
My raptor eats school children
gc327072 31
My golden eagle throws goats off of cliffs.
Zomg_Okay 27
My retriever digs holes with his nose instead of his paws.
FailBear920 19
My mother chases her tail.
klovemachine 24
My mouse chases my cat :O
missyj0 12
my belly button has some lint.
alan831 9
That's fabulous.
zango1 15
Apparently the dry humping thing dogs do is more to do with dominance than anything sexual.
DKjazz 20
I'm pretty sure this particular humping wasn't very dry...
anitadoody 7
Ha, that's what zoologists used to say back when homosexuality was taboo/illegal. "They're not having sex, it's, urm, the domination... thingy."
Epikouros 32
So it's OK if my Master play-rapes me in public? Because it's a display of dominance, and by your logic that means it can't be sex.
SammyS2012 21
The thing is 39, they're not having sex. I've seen males and females mount (sometimes the female mounts the male); and usually it's the dog that the territory "belongs" to. Sometimes, it's the intruder trying to claim the territory.
ICastillo 25
Well shit from now on in public , I'm going to start humping random things to show my dominance.
gc327072 31
65- I humped a Lamborghini the other day and got it for free. What really wins someone the presidency? Extreme humping skills.
dannnngthatsux 19
#54, and sometimes it's actually sex. I've actually seen two make dogs take turn penetrating each other. Rare, but it happens.
Cloudberry 10
All these god awful dog puns and it's been five minutes
Pleonasm 36
Unfortunately there are more and probably a lot more to come... And all this for some cocker spaniels.
ninjaCow18 11
Don't you meen DOG awfull