Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML
Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
datgamerchick 14
The snack that smiles back.
XxAnnie23xX 15
That's not bad, alot of people consider their bestfriends to be pets C:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
XxAnnie23xX 15
That's not bad, alot of people consider their bestfriends to be pets C:
pllamah 9
but usually the pets are something that actually shows love back, like a dog or cat.
lolkaela 6
But usually it's a dog/cat/rabbit/somethingthatisn'tafish
CCSA 12
But usually cats are the ones that actually consider us as their pets/slaves/somedumbasswhoprovidefoodandshelterandentertainmentetc
winkydog4056 16
#43_Dogs have owners, cats have staff. Enough said.
SyntheticSound 24
Goldfish show their love back. That quirky little wiggle they do every time you're even remotely near their tank, how they get all excited when you give them some new plants, especially when they nibble on your fingers/hands while you're cleaning their tank. My two oldest are approaching their 1year-mark, and they are some of the best friends a person can ask for. c:
moonboobs 4
When they say "money can't buy me love," the beatles forgot about pets. My dog is the only one one who loves me unconditionally, sorry for when she wrongs me, and forgives me akways. :) Pets are the greatest!
AzzieC 12
Well at Keats my best friends a dog
BlondeBubbles 6
I would thumbs up this comment, but it's at 69, so...
Sputnikspak 13
I had a celestial eye goldfish (his eyes were crooked, one looked up and one looked forward) named Ed. He was my buddy, I loved that fish. But he had swim bladder problems (I imagine he had a lot of congenital problems) and I cried when I found him dead. Wasn't my best friend, but I love having a good aquarium.
onlychildFTW 34
I didn't know pets were lots of people's best friends. Strange. But whatever floats your boat.
alialley 10
As the saying goes, you can pay for the hooker, but not the experience. Money can only get you so much.
datgamerchick 14
The snack that smiles back.
XxskyelovexX 13
Gold Fish!
girlwithmoodeyes 0
A girl in my English Lit class sat on one and the kid next to me said that its probably not smiling anymore...
mbusey 20
It's not smiling when you bite its head off.
oj101 33
I would have thought that the OP might have tapped on the bedroom window from outside, but how would he swim? It's either that OP has an infinity pool with a glass edge, which is unlikely given that it is in Sweden, or the friend is Shark Boy living in someone else's shower and she is Lava Girl! I'm pretty sure that its the latter.
jayhawkchik 4
Lol
Sputnikspak 13
A friend of mine wants to build an aquarium full of delicious fish to eat, and go fishing in it for dinner. He calls it the Snaquarium. He's a little strange.
daps29 11
I suppose.
cpucooler 4
But fish in the bowl is lucky They in for a worser fate One day when the boss get hungry Guess who's gon' be on the plate
sarah6786 14
I read this and heard it in my head sung like it is on the commercial. And added 'go0oldfish' at the end.
JocelynKaulitz 28
…fish are friends, not food.
JRLovecraft 6
Uh, 59, you do realize that OP meant like a goldfish, right?
Wood1andcritter 3
With the profile picture, its all the better
2ndSucks 15
To each his own.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yep, this FML actually made me smile, in a good way.
memyselfandI07 1
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. :)
oj101 33
Huh? How did this FML even get approved in the first place? I would have thought that the OP might have tapped on the bedroom window from outside, but how would he be swimming around? It's either that OP has an infinity pool with a glass edge, which is unlikely given that it is in Sweden, or the friend is Shark Boy living in someone else's shower and she is his Lava Girl! I'm pretty sure that it's the latter.
amerikaninfidel 2
Sounds like a fishy FML
Kog_Hiro 17
Nothing wrong with that. Glad he's ok OP.
Aspen_Grace33 27
As pathetic as it sounds, I was extremely upset when my pet betta, Kenny, died. A pet is a pet... sometimes they are the best listeners!
BubbleGrunge 18
We had a betta fish names Bluie in one of my classrooms. I let the children take it home on weekends until I let Carlos take it home. That sticky finger bastard killed my fish!!
jayhawkchik 4
Omg, You killed Kenny!! You bastard !
Octain 13
During one of birthday parties my parents placed my Beta, Sparky, out on the kitchen table to be seen. Unfortunately, my house had a million windows and by the end of the party Sparky was cooked. I cried for an hour...
BubbleGrunge 18
Awwww poor fishies! I think we can all agree, Betta fish rock! :( R.I.P. little guys!
htownpostman 16
WTF talks to a fish?
LO388 7
Your best friend was sleeping!
TheJoeydark 4
That's what a crazy night of sea "weed" will do to you lol
accioshannon 17
At least they can't talk back to you!
zepher93 7
You call him your best friend, yet you interrupt his nap time? OP, how could you...
zepher93 7
Accidently thumbed down my own comment right there...
RvidxrKlvn 8
I got your back, 11!