Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
Puff the magic earwig ...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't actually know what an earwig is. I keep imagining a tiny mustache/toupee that lives in one's ear. I won't google it because I like thinking that. Don't judge me.
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Comments (86)
BossPathfinderGM 14
That bites! Though I hope YOU didn't...
HKCgrimmjow 15
Mmm panic attack the earwig is thinking NOWS THE TIME! ATTAAACK
crazytwinsmom 25
Puff the magic earwig ...
Thursday737 7
best ******* comment I've ever read.
gc327072 31
..... in a land called Albuterol-E!
Catkam623 27
Lol I haven't heard that song in forever too bad the kid dies
staceyrose 10
Shame! FYL.
AnimeCookie 9
There's a button for that.
Doortje 30
That's disgusting :/ FYL.
yelz 16
Hope you're fine now OP!
Catkam623 27
Huh commenting on a random thread just so it's on the first page. What a great idea!
uhhSavage 22
41, hypocrite.
DDCA 24
Mmm... protein!
ydi_4_suking 20
No one wants surprise protein like that
JoeGrant 12
Well, no one except Bear Grylls.
Sputnikspak 13
If you're using an asthma inhaler, you're inhaling - not swallowing. That earwig could've ended up in her windpipe and that would NOT have been fun. =/ I have asthma, so I know the drill, OP - I always check inside my inhaler, not because I've found earwigs, but because it rattles around in my purse and a few times I've found pennies inside (and you do not want to inhale a penny).
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well, they are good protein :D
TheVoicesTalk 3
Those darn earwigs!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't actually know what an earwig is. I keep imagining a tiny mustache/toupee that lives in one's ear. I won't google it because I like thinking that. Don't judge me.
ksks1234 33
They do have such things. It is a little wig that goes on your ear. But the insect, earwigs, are creepy.
Hiphuray4peas 27
The idea that earwigs hang out in ears is just an urban legend. Earwigs, members of order Dermaptera, are known as earwigs because of a bastardization of their original name, "ear wing," which is actually more relevant to their morphology since their primitive wing unfolded looks like a human ear. They are known for their heavily scleritized cerci (what most call pinchers) and their tendency, as an order, for maternal care of young. Very cool insects if you ask me and are worth the effort to google.
VVeetard 8
Perhaps you're more familiar with the name "pincher bugs"
Relenaz 9
I don't like earwigs as much as #33. :P Personally, I have a greater dislike of them than spiders!! D: If I ever saw one on my bed, I'd panic and possibly have nightmares *shudders*. As opposed to seeing a spider crawling on my bed. I'd just flick it away and watch it hide.
TrueTriage 16
As primitive as sounds all I really need to know is that when my foot hits it it's quick painless and lights out for the bug
outoftown 27
#8, I like your image way more than mine: flying roach.
perdix 31
#8, I like your way of magical thinking. The Internet has been such a bummer for me because of all the song lyrics. I've found out that many of the lyrics I thought I knew were actually wrong. But, I still liked mine better. Example: You've got the peaches, I've got the cream Sweet to taste. Saccharine. Or Sweet potato. Saccharine. Sweet potato is better, right?
0RedPenguin0 8
Poor thing must have been traumatized in the last few seconds of its life
Migole 36
"Now take a deeep breath" Poor little thing, there goes its wonderful home :/ On a more serious note, I hope you didn't choke on it. That must've scared the living shit out of you.