Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am NOT a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I posted a meme which said "I don't know where some people learned their inside voices, but it must have been in a helicopter with running chainsaws." My mom laughed at it. I didn't have the strength nor the bravery to tell her that it was meant for her. Then my dad laughed at it. It was also meant for him. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, my dad said to me, "This millenial idea that you can be happy in life is so wrong." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NessaMae 19
Word vomit, gotta love it. Think about your comebacks before you say them, it usually never comes out right when you just blurt it out.
Razi_tail 25
You are never going to live that one down! :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
SgtAssCheeks 21
All's well that ends well! YDI.
IloveToLaugh143 21
What?
CobraLazerFace 21
I think this FML ends with OPs death.
tr3vvv 9
Or #1's death jk ;)
NessaMae 19
Word vomit, gotta love it. Think about your comebacks before you say them, it usually never comes out right when you just blurt it out.
OptimusVader 23
Could've been a Freudian slip though!
warsun 27
Except when we do think of good comebacks or amazing ones, it's been atleast 2 hours after the arguement
lizzy_r_b_94 18
Or when your trying to getting sleep at night
Razi_tail 25
You are never going to live that one down! :P
cumberbunny 17
...pun?! Good one!!
spidey_awesome 14
not even when he dies
thatnucca 36
Think before you speak could go for second best on that tombstone...
rkdstp1995 25
5 stars. at least you proved yourself right...
baseballdude1283 18
This needs to be illustrated
cosmicriver 17
I agree, #7. This post would make for an outstanding, and interesting illustration.
tbro47 23
The downfall of every genius. Diarrhea of the mouth.
IloveToLaugh143 21
It's explosive.
datguy69s 21
Then don't die before him!!
oddities 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes, because that's just fantastic advice. It's not like there are variables that could cause OP to die first, after all. Oh, no, that would be silly.
AnOriginalName 19
Well it would be fairly easy for OP to ensure that his father is the first to die.... .... Even if that option lands OP in jail....
IllestRated 17
Out live him and engrave the same thing
nonononononono_fml 16
I think you just proved your point.