Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML
Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML
Feronia tells us more.
Feronia 12
It's not that I'm mad at my neighbours for calling the cops, honestly I would've done the same. I'm just upset about officers barging in and handcuffing my boyfriend without explanation. They tried taking him out of the appartment, still handcuffed, still no explanation. Until I started yelling at them to let him go and tell me what the **** was going on they wouldn't give me a second glance. And yes, child protective services were called, and they showed up a bit later. They didn't fully believe me when I said my partner has never laid a finger on me, and they insisted on regular counseling. So now we have a counselor for an unknown amount of time, because they can't get it into their thick skulls that babies scream sometimes. And I live in constant fear, because if our daughter so much as scratches herself or bumps her head against the table we have a chance of losing her. Granted, a small chance, but a chance none the less. Also, our schedules are different from most people because of our job, we mostly live during the night, so it's normal for our kid to be up at 11pm. We're looking for other jobs to fix that.
Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML
Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML
fleckney26 tells us more.
fleckney26 25
Op here, first of all, thanks for the support. Mostly. It's not actual depression, just feeling rather miserable about it all, especially as many of my friends are all in happy relationships that I see every day. We dated for just over three months, and I guess the main reason I'm still upset is that she was my first proper girlfriend, first kiss, and at the risk of sounding a bit too pathetic, my first love. To those saying that I should get out and find a hobby, I do. I play the French horn in and out of school, and I'm in the Air Training Corps, which takes up nearly all my free time. The only problem is, she does exactly the same, so I still see her every day and we regularly have camps together, so it's hard to avoid her. Saying that, we are still friends, and the break up was very calm, so there are no hard feeling between us. Anyway, sorry for the long comment, and thanks for getting this posted!
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML
Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML
Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML
_Domster_46 tells us more.
_Domster_46 16
Hi, OP here, to answer some of your questions she is 4 years old, and I did try putting it in a bag of rice glad to say it is working now!
Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML
Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML
coolster5000 tells us more.
coolster5000 22
OP here, I find all of your "shitty situation" comments very unoriginal;) but funny all the same. I ended up just telling them I went in and found the toilet like that, but I'm not sure they believed me whatsoever.
Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML
blemarooney tells us more.
blemarooney 13
Hi OP here. Thanks for all the supportive comments. I got my mum to go in and complain to my school but they kept insisting that 'rules are rules.' So maybe bless you secretly means the answer is C but I will certainly never bless anybody when they sneeze in the middle of an exam again.
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
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