Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to order coffee on my own instead of using the app. When the barista asked, “Name?” I froze and blurted out my email address. They called out my full name plus numbers and I had to claim it like that was normal. FML
Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML
Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML
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Top comments
hailhydra 6
something tells me the Starbucks employee just can't read but i might be wrong
mushroomcassette 21
Don't worry, they won't get far in life by insulting others.
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Comments (208)
mushroomcassette 21
Don't worry, they won't get far in life by insulting others.
kmaheynoway 25
Exactly! They should stop b-Ian jerks!
Kazze 31
They also won't get very far in life if they think "Ian" is a fake name.
gooplux6 6
That's why they work at star bucks
ZombieVampirez 24
Starbucks taste freaking awesome.
AnOriginalName 19
Oh you done ****** up now, ee-ahn.
hailhydra 6
something tells me the Starbucks employee just can't read but i might be wrong
MrConcise 35
That's why they have ridiculous names for drink sizes. Gotta bring everybody down to the same confused playing field.
RenoTheRhino 30
Starbucks employees also can't ever spell; they probably wrote "E-anne" on the cup.
gogo44444 28
My name is Megan and I told them, " my name is Megan without an 'h'" they wrote my name Meagan
thawny_fml 21
My name is Dorian. I'm glad there isn't Starbucks where I live.
obeykaitlyn 25
give them your ID and ask what they think of you now
kmaheynoway 25
"Oh, you have a fake ID too?"
fie26 9
calling the police
Perdition25 12
My fake ID would be Ian Mcluvin, totally believable.
K_kanaka 26
How the **** do people get confused with Ian?
minimuni 7
e-on or i-on
doodlecloud 27
I can think of a lot of ways to spell it. Still would never think it was a fake name though.
Welshite 40
They get mad at customers using fake names? I always give a fake name because I get blank stares when I tell them my real one. It's more convenient for everyone to use simple fake names. That employee overreacted terribly. Complain.
feven 32
I thought I was the only one who did that! But the people at Starbucks eventually confronted me about it so I stopped. I always switched off between Jennifer, Kayla, Elizabeth, and Emma :/
Welshite 40
The day an employee confronts me about using a fake name for coffee will be the day I stop going to that shop. I use a fake name that is similar to my real one, but it's really none of their business what I want to be called. That is straight harassment. If I want to be called Billy-Joe, than by God that's my choice.
devildog562 33
I thought for sure you told them your name was welshite .... Matter of fact I might go to Starbucks simply because I wanna use your alias , because lord knows their coffee is mediocre at best.
feven 32
The trick is to not pause before you say your name. Forgetting your name is a real give away
lulinator 40
I am very curious as to your real names now, if you feel the need to use a more common one to avoid blank stares.
Kazze 31
One of my friends is named Zvejzdan, so he also goes by a fake name whenever her goes to Starbucks. The best part? His brother's name is Daniel.
cryssycakesx3 23
hell yeah, you stand up for your rights, welshite!
tdawg91 17
I don't work at star bucks but I do work at a coffee shop so when I have 40 dockets lined up all with similar names, I actually ask them to give me a fake name, it's a lot easier to ensure that both Sam's get the correct coffee when I can call one of those Sam's "Bat Man"
DoomedGemini 38
It's the fun part to use fake names. It's not coffee but my brother(whose name is actually Ian) and I made an employees day by going in(separately I was asleep until he told me about his) and donated money to get a clover and put Darth Vader and Lord Voldemort on them. Unless it's a name they can't pronounce they don't really have a right to complain.
RedPillSucks 33
I like to switch off between the names for my multiple personalities
Ichiya 29
I like the name Jyorskvelsung. Its fun seeing them try to spell/say the name.
MrConcise 35
Does giving the name "That Guy" work?
anonymuse_fml 31
I did work at Starbucks for a bit and we all usually had a lot of fun when people gave us obviously fake names. I had one guy give me the name Spartacus. A girl I worked with had a girl give "Primrose Everdeen" and when the name was called (in an official voice), the girl stepped forward and said "I volunteer!" Can make an otherwise boring day so much fun!
DesolateTree 12
My name is Russ and everyone thinks it's Bryce so I start with that.
Nezumi04 20
Last I checked the customer is always right. Ask for the manager op.
little_one 20
My husband was always called by his middle name Cole. But Starbucks always confuses it and puts Paul or crazy other names now he uses his first name Ryan which usually ends up being Brian at least it's closer...
Sulpherluver 10
HELL YEAH. AND IF ANYONE EVER ARGUES WITH ME ABOUT MY NAME? I WILL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN
Therid 22
@127, I might go to Starbucks just for that.
speedy638 21
whoever yelled at op should get fired for that.
interesting33 37
That is awful of them. It sounds like they were trying to stick up for a co-worker, there might have been cases of people genuinely being horrible to the employees but we just don't know. But yeah screaming at someone like that is ridiculous and that employee should be disciplined/spoken to, at least so the person can understand where they are coming from or what is happening to make them so upset. And OP should be compensated.
Ms_ValS 27
Just submit a complaint OP. Make sure you have the receipt. Starbucks takes this kind of things seriously. Or at least they claim so. Either way, you get a free drink. I gotta admit though, it's not worth the crying. Maybe you will get many free drinks? Sorry OP
mick95_fml 19
That sucks! You should write a yelp review on them or something!
IamHercules 24
Better plan: take the lid of the cup, look down at it, and say "this isn't what I ordered!" when they come close throw the coffee in their face and leave.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Mmm permanently disfiguring someone with boiling hot coffee probably isn't what a person should do here...
be82tw 17
Ah, nothing makes FML more than the suggestions of disproportionate violence and antisocial behaviors against the annoying people in our lives.
Roxas_hearts 27
Should've taken out your ID Yu-gi-oh style and wait for a reaction
be82tw 17
OP should have played his photo ID in defense mode?
Purexinsanity 46
I hope you got the manager involved. Even if they were having a bad day, it's no reason to scream at someone.