Anonymous
Annapolis, United States
Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ilovelife07
United States
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Anonymous
Classic
Today, I got a strand of dental floss stuck in my teeth. The only thing that hurts more than my mouth is the irony. FML
ydahs
United States
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
Genuine D
Mississauga, Canada
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
WearingSomethingStringy
Cranston, United States
Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML
fuckalltwitardsintheface
Lindsey, United States
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
Tooth hurty
United States
Rotten
Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML
Gross
Sydney, Australia
Kinda gross
Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML
lalalasmiles06
Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML
i fking love docb
Christiansted, Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Top comments
KatieKoala 19
It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss
rieebee 23
Sleep-eating? For that minty fresh ass...
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Comments (139)
Jthewat 22
But how did you find it?
Bubbiesss 11
Should we really ask that
annie_zoo 27
most likely when she went to wipe her butt after a dump
psychopolarbear 28
I want to know how she is certain that it's dental floss
uncle_ssaamm 12
ewwwww
bluefairy_fml 24
#42 Exactly! Maybe it's some kind of anal parasite/worm.
SwagBasket 10
Hey it's a girl she might of mistaken it for a tampon
MrsPegg 45
93, I surely hope you're just trolling. Because if not, I have pity on you for your blatant ignorance.
swanheart 35
#95 - you don't get anal periods either? What lucky ducks we are! I feel sorry for all the other women out there with double periods...
PurpleMyth 28
In her butt?...
hambro 9
@93 a tampon does not in fact get inserted into the rectum...
slithermein 5
Maybe it all came back to bite you in the bum
theTravinator 21
I'd imagine the partner of any dentist that has a butthole eating fetish would suffer from this
dakatabg 31
Wow, it id really a mystery
nickaa827 13
#43, Typos. They happen. :)
rieebee 23
Sleep-eating? For that minty fresh ass...
incoherentrmblr 22
Too bad she didn't use Orbits Toilet paper. "Orbits Toilet Paper...Cleans another dirty ass..."
CODplayer4lyfe 24
#63 you tried too hard
ShatteredPulse 15
Then why did you get smashed by downvotes?
dcam13 19
you realize no matter how much you floss it you'll still have a cavity, right?
Wizardo 34
Gives minty fresh another meaning. "I floss everyday but I ain't a dentist".
Nasir_Jones 12
Ya whole style and approach I invented.
Welshite 40
Your colon needs to be squeaky clean too.
PePziNL 20
"That fresh smell of your boyfriends colon"
man_in_black08 28
Just hope ur brother doesnt use that floss thinking it was his, like he thought he could use any toothbursh he finds
Smooth_Criminal 24
I could have sworn that floss is thrown away after each use.
swanheart 35
Either that or op has been walking round with a packet of floss hanging round down there and not noticed!
KatieKoala 19
It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss
ArturoRamirez 16
This comment made my day.
Nilorak 24
Kinky. ;)
dagarr 11
That must be a pain in the ass