Nearly FMLs

By "Lisa" - 25/11/2018 03:14

Today, a charming, handsome man flirted with me, asking for a date. Then I found out he has a girlfriend. It's the third time this same scenario has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 2

By murduh - 25/11/2018 03:02

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on grindr. And also found videos of him jerking off for guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 18:14 - United States - New York

Today I sent in a document to my professor for an assignment when in fact I had sent my rough draft that had "suck it professor" at the end of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 20:04

Today, my best friend and my sister started dating. I'm now officially the constant 3rd wheel and don't feel like I belong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

By "Alisha-_-" - 24/11/2018 13:14 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my twin sister told me that the reason she couldn't get a boyfriend is because im her twin. She's had more relationships in a month than I've had all my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 0

By Over it - 24/11/2018 14:00

Today, I learned there is very little chance my husband and I can conceive naturally, and we'll most likely have to spend all of our savings trying to conceive or adopt. My sister called to let me know how hard it is to juggle her second pregnancy, getting her masters degree, and finding time to travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 110

By Ang - 24/11/2018 08:42

Today, I learned what was wrong with my car. Several days ago, it broke down on my way to work. The next morning the county towed it before we could. Now we owe $400 for the tow and having someone look at it. What was wrong with it? The fuel line came loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 2

By colonelchaos92 - 24/11/2018 07:04

Today, my husband's grandmother offered me a cinnamon roll. I'm deathly allergic to cinnamon can't be in the same room. She then offered him one... I think she may be trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 2

By "indienerdgirl" - 23/11/2018 19:49

Today, for Thanksgiving half my family was out of town, dad had a medical emergency and was in the hospital. If that wasn't bad enough I found our family cat dead in our bathroom. He seemed perfectly healthy and showed no signs of being sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1

By Amexa - 23/11/2018 18:53

Today.. I tried giving my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. Due to my inexperience and fear, I ended up crying while giving him head. Yeah that’s always a good start. What’s even better is that he didn’t notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 5

By me - 23/11/2018 18:33

Today, I have to tell my bf that I’m pregnant by the guy I assured him he was delusional about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 198

By avertle - 23/11/2018 12:08 - United States - Norway

Today, my thanksgiving was cut short because my grandpa who isn’t supposed to drink because of all the medicine he’s on that mixes bad with alcohol, decided it was a good idea to sneak vodka into our family thanksgiving dinner and get super drunk. I had to leave early to drive him to the ER....FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 22/11/2018 22:16 - United States - Omaha

Today for Thanksgiving it was my first time in charge of cooking the turkey, today was also my first time burning the house down fml

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 2

By My cat's an idiot - 23/11/2018 01:39

Today marks the third day my cat has had soft poop that sticks to his ass. He needs a shower every time to keep him from spreading it everywhere. However this time, it was in the middle of the night while we were sleeping. I now know everywhere my cat goes every night. It's everywhere. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 2

By Nice Try - 23/11/2018 07:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband's ex said she needed $60 for his kid's medication. The same medication that says $31 on the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 0

By Yes, you "helped" - 23/11/2018 07:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband had a day off and wanted to help get the kids ready for school. Funny, didn't know watching American Dad in your man cave and critiquing me when I raised my voice slightly was getting the kids ready for school FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 4

By BahHumbugIGuess - 22/11/2018 22:17

Today I spent my Thanksgiving in front of my fireplace trying to keep warm while eating the last bit of expired peanut butter from the jar. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 2

By notmypresident - 22/11/2018 12:18 - United States - Kent

Today, my wife decided to throw out the lettuce I had bought for the week, all because "The Government told me so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 23

By Marie - 22/11/2018 20:31

Today my dad went to look up something on my phone and the first thing it showed for quick links was pornhub and fetlife FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 22/11/2018 16:29

Today, the back window of my car shattered. No clue why, nor can I get it relaplaced for at least a week. I need my car to get to work every day. The forecasted high this week is 27 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1

By RNfatty - 22/11/2018 08:18 - United States - Douglas

Today, I was at work checking a patient's pressure when he accidentally bumped my stomach. He gasped, "I hope I didn't hurt the baby!" I'm not pregnant. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 1

By Hi_i'm_bi - 22/11/2018 13:01 - Austria

Today, at dinner, I accidentally came out to my whole family. Everyone was shocked. The worst part is that I thought they all already knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 2

By Jaelkus - 22/11/2018 10:40

Today, thanks to work, instead of arriving in time for thanksgiving, I will be arriving 7 hours late to dinner. My mother is threatening to disown me if I don’t break federal law to be home in time...FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 22/11/2018 07:00

Today, I had sex with a guy I’ve been seeing for a few months and I really like him. When we were done he laughed and said to me that he’s going to tell all his friends how good I was and that I should charge men for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 3

By "frostbitten" - 22/11/2018 05:55

Today I lost my job. My husband also thought it was a good day to get drunk while at work and get fired. We have a mortgage, bills and kids to feed with no income....FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 2

By Chantal - 21/11/2018 22:23 - United States

Today I woke up to blood everywhere. Down my legs, soaked in my pants, seeped to the bed. Hello Mother Nature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1

By walkthedingos - 21/11/2018 21:35

Today I coughed so hard I shit my pants in the parking lot at work before clocking in for the day. I had to drive home and change underwear. I was then late for work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 3

By SomeGuyIDK - 21/11/2018 21:05

Today, my best friend said she couldn't talk to me anymore because her feelings for me made it too hard. Yesterday, I told her I was in love with her and she said she didn't feel the same. I just lost my crush, my best friend, and the girl I'm in love with. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 4

By "CathyDreamerGR" - 21/11/2018 19:38

Today, I was invited to a play a friend was participating in. I decided to go, as I hadn't seen her in a while. Not only did the play make no sense whatsoever, it was delayed for one hour, and lasted three and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 1

By she - 21/11/2018 16:29

Today, my brakes went out and I hit a pole. Right after I finished a five minute rant to my boyfriend about bad drivers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 13

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 300

You deserved it 2 365

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 592

You deserved it 3 893

Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 147

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 199

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 515

You deserved it 36 545

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 120

You deserved it 1 791