Nearly FMLs

By mylifeisonebigfml98 - 29/10/2018 15:55 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I shaved my head. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 15

By "Nicole Raven" - 29/10/2018 17:07

Today, me and my friend drove 7 hours to see my long lost high school classmate. After our long voyage, her whole family shows up and says we are too freaky to be seen with. We're Goth and she knew it before I left to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 10

By AlwaysWorking - 29/10/2018 15:30

Today, it was day 20 of an extended work trip. My wife is mad at me for leaving her with the kids, and none of them want to talk with me. I miss them so much and she thinks I'm on a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 97

By Boyufd - 29/10/2018 13:30

Today, after having my fifth job interview and filling out multiple applications, I'm still unemployed. My brother, who recently quit his third job this year, had a job interview and got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 125

By GoingBald - 29/10/2018 11:22

Today, I realized just how severe my hair loss is. I told my mom about it and she said it’s because I don’t brush my hair enough. I sure wish that were the case, however, I brush my hair everyday, multiple times a day and yet my hair continues to fall out in clumps. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/10/2018 07:35

Today I woke up to my wife licking my penis, since I was half asleep and not had a blowjob in a while I just lay there and enjoyed it, at least until I actually woke up and realised it was all a dream. My wife then shouted at me for orgasming in my sleep and staining her best bedsheets FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 29/10/2018 07:29

Today I applied for an entry level job so I could get some experience in my chosen field. My application was rejected 2 hours later because apparently it was clear from my CV that I lacked the necessary experience for the job. I’m starting to agree, my generation is fucked FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 3

By Nada Chance - 29/10/2018 01:39

Today, I went to the doctor because I had random spots in my vision. They sent me for an MRI. Tonight, I'm in the ER because, hey, 2 strokes! No one can figure out why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 3

By Kara - 28/10/2018 20:24

Today I was in my psychology class and through random selection we were put into groups. I pay attention in class and got put with people who generally don't. As my name was picked three people in my group sighed and one said "not her" I don't even know what I did. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 4

By 1plus1 - 28/10/2018 16:11

Today my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me right after I found out I was pregnant with his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 6

By MnM - 27/10/2018 20:06 - United States - Edmond

Today,I finally got the courage to talk to my crush and I walked up to him and at the same time we said"I need to tell you something"I let him go first and turns out I got my period while wearing white shorts.FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 2

By NancyKim - 28/10/2018 01:45

Today I had a date with a man I met over Tinder. I got to the place where our date would happen (a restaurant near where I live) . When I arrived, there sat my ex husband who I had divorced over 3 years ago. We hated each other with everything we had. I had to sit there with him for 2 hrs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 37

By KebbyWebby - 27/10/2018 21:10

Today my boyfriend said doing anything with me is like doing a chore. So much for being the fun girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 4

By SadieLynn - 27/10/2018 08:21

Today, I finally got my license and my own car, so I can finally start looking for a job. My mom came home and said if I don’t have a job secured tomorrow, she’s taking the car away. I live in a very small town with nothing, and she won’t let me drive further than ten miles to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 27/10/2018 18:16 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I’ve had the absolute worst year possible at work but stuck it out to look good on the CV. Turns out my boss has been giving me the worst possible reference so not only has this job been crap but the possibility of finding something else is now looking pretty unlikely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 5

By NoLongerOk - 27/10/2018 02:29

Today, I didn't get mad or make a scene at my drunk husband for boasting about his penis and flirting all night with my best friend. Now he thinks I'm into it, and everytime I try to talk dirty to him, he talks about her! He even gets mad when I refuse to say her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 27/10/2018 01:57

Today I came home to my boyfriend naked with his co-worker. I came home early from physical therapy for my back. I guess he forgot or wanted to get caught. Now I have to keep living with him until I can move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 2

By JJowhar - 26/10/2018 21:15

Today, I got proposed to by a sweet old man who did not want to die alone, the issue is I'm a 21-year-old man with slightly long hair. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 5

By LPS8585 - 26/10/2018 21:02

Today, four months ago I was told to order my wedding dress 2 sizes too big to accommodate for my growing pregnancy belly. Today when I went for a fitting, I was told it was too big and they couldn’t alter it. 22 days to go and I’m living on a prayer that the new dress will be in on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 8

By @robindp514 - 26/10/2018 20:45

Today, I thought I was taking my leftover gluten-free pizza to work for lunch. It was my daughter's leftover full-of-gluten pasta. #FML @robindp514

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 770

By Elizabeth Ann - 26/10/2018 16:51

Today, the dog ate my glasses. My vision is so bad that when I went to work my boss insisted that I wear a pair of her contact lenses so I’m not a “danger” to my students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 4

By Jody - 26/10/2018 15:06

Today, my boyfriend, of over 2 years, broke up with me because my friends told him I'm gay. I'm not, but they still try to convince me I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 4

By MsPoorEtiquette - 26/10/2018 14:00

Today, at on-the-job etiquette training, I was asked to leave the room for being disrespectful. Why? The trainer said that women should not dress as if they were looking for a man at work. I dared to suggest that this should not be part of etiquette training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 26/10/2018 07:51

Today, I came home to my dogs by the front door. Since it was cold, and they rarely sleep there at night, I stayed with them for a while to make sure they were ok. As I went to my room I realized that my dogs were by the front door because both my parents were snoring like foghorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 1

By Tess400 - 26/10/2018 03:18

Today is my 40th birthday and my boyfriend of seven years came home from work and announced that he was approved for a vacation day from work for his mother’s birthday which is 3 months from now. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 26/10/2018 01:48

Today I was at the back of my apartment masturbating with the door closed. After finishing up I went upstairs to my neighbors to chat it up. She told me her friend had just left and had earlier tried knocking on my door to "hook up". Apparently it was while I was masturbating and didnt hear her. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 25/10/2018 17:34

Today, I walked in on my cousin buttfucking my sister during a family gathering. We don’t live in Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 25/10/2018 05:35

Today, I tripped at work and hit my head. This resulted in me passing out a few minutes later and being rushed to the ER. This resulted in my boss demanding I take a drug test, even though I was stone cold sober at the time. Now I'm unemployed and buried in medical debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 7

By RyoKioKio - 25/10/2018 03:07

Today, I had a panic attack following sensory overload. When my mom asked me what was wrong, I told her, and explained that a sound she was making was contributing to it. She yelled at me, complete with all the expletives, about how she couldn't be herself in the house. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 6

By Flyyyy - 24/10/2018 22:54 - Italy - Desio

Today, I got stood up for a date. Third time in two years year somebody made a fake profile on social media to ask me out and then stand me up. I think I have a troll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 2

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of taking me to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 225

You deserved it 2 422

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 515

You deserved it 7 502

Today, my boyfriend and I are going on vacation to Panama. When we landed, our suitcases were missing and the airline has no clue where they are. It’s 32 degrees Celsius outside, and all we have is our winter jackets and a pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 132

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I was "angry" at him. I was angry because last night he turned off his phone and left me locked out of the Airbnb that I had paid for. Until 3 am. In a foreign country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 050

You deserved it 428

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 246

You deserved it 2 534

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 962

You deserved it 3 200