Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 09/11/2018 19:30 - United States - Price

Today I returned home from a 3 day vacation, to find that not only had I not closed the door fully to my three cat's room, but they had shit everywhere, and the house smelled like death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 52

By Star - 09/11/2018 19:22 - United States - Price

Today my cat caught a huge mouse, and I was happy, until I found out my favorite rat was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 23

By Ashamed Drunk Girl - 09/11/2018 22:50

Today I went to my boyfriend after a few drinks with my friends.. we had a GREAT sex too bad I was more drunk than I thought and his parents heard the whole thing and after confronting him she walked away imitating my apparently loud, drunk moans... FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 42

By Ann - 09/11/2018 19:50

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that our relationship "didn't count" up until two weeks ago when we stopped working at the same place and it's too early to move in together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By "Aaron Magliulo" - 09/11/2018 14:56

Today, a kid used the emergency handle on my bus to escape and had to be chased down by the police and get arrested, and now I'm gonna be late to school by at least 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2

By Irons - 09/11/2018 05:51

Today, my best friend of 14 years wont talk to me because she “doesnt share my feelings.” Weird, cause it was her that made a move on me last month when I was in town. We slept together that night and every night til I left. She is the one who kissed me but now my feelings are suddenly a problem FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

By Umbreon - 08/11/2018 23:42

Today, I got in trouble with my parents and they took one of the dozen or so boxes of Pokemon cards I was keeping on the floor. They took the box with my best cards in it, just by chance. They shredded the entire box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 17

By VeryInclusiveFamily - 07/11/2018 22:38 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, after months of fight and miscommunication, I finally broke up with my boyfriend. The thing is, my family, mostly my mother, thinks of him as her own son. Guess who will have to still talk to him ? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 4

By Devalee - 08/11/2018 00:34

Today, I got my eyes dilated. It's also the first day of the festival of lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2

By angry and horny - 08/11/2018 00:06

Today I was masturbating in my apartment when the crazy lady next door started banging on the wall telling me to knock it off because God can see what I'm doing and will surely punish me for it. Why did I move to the city, why, my closest neighbour in my old house was 400 yards down the road FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 07/11/2018 10:47 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, I was at work and we had a shop lifter, my manager asked me to call the police. Me being petrified to call the police I asked him if he knew the number for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 15

By i need better standards - 07/11/2018 08:11

Today I confessed to the man I'm in love with. He excitedly told me about how him and his fiancee are actually not splitting up like I thought, but are back on, planning the big day already, and have started trying for a baby. I think I physically felt my heart break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By Sophiee04 - 06/11/2018 16:38 - United States - Sedona

Today I FaceTimed a friend I only knew online for a few days. I heard one of her friends in the room say "wow she's really ugly"... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1

By BoarWarrior89 - 06/11/2018 23:29

Today, I started the first period I've had in 2 years (thanks PCOS) and I have no pads, am at work, and wore brand new white underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

By ShittyLiving - 06/11/2018 20:45

Today, I had to cut an apple in my room on the other side of the apartment because I noticed the noise echoed on my baby’s monitor as he slept. You can also hear the neighbors walking and banging upstairs and hear people talking in the stairwell outside. We pay $1400 in rent for this POS. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1

By Hornygf - 06/11/2018 13:29 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I got the birth control implant so I could finally have sex with my boyfriend of a year and a half. He then informs me that we won’t be having sex this month because he is participating in no nut November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 5

By NadaChance - 06/11/2018 09:28 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I discovered that the "possible constipation" side effect was a side effect. I now understand the phrase "shitting a brick", my butt still hurts, and I'm scared to use the restroom again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 3

By AkaiKitsune - 05/11/2018 19:24 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I asked the person training me to show me how to alarm the cash office so I didn’t set any alarms off. She accidentally set it with the door closed and us both inside. The alarm went off when she opened the door and our manager is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 3

By "DeerWombat" - 05/11/2018 15:59

Today, my cousin refuses to be home alone while I go out on a date. I don't like having him around in public cause he frequently plays with his own crotch everywhere he goes. He's 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 5

By Am I gay now? - 05/11/2018 15:41

Today, my neighbour was walking his dog. Wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t notice me wanking it it my livingroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 65

By Iswearimnot - 04/11/2018 23:32

Today I got fired for being racist. All I said was I liked living in England. I swear I’m not racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 3

By DINGDINGFREAKINGDING - 04/11/2018 22:36

Today at work the fire panel alarm system is broke and constantly going off. It is blaring DING DING DING in my ear for 8 hours. The alarm company cant fix it until next week so I will have to spend all week listening to ding ding ding ding...FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2

By nogooddeedgoesunpunished - 04/11/2018 18:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, my husband's friend asked for a loan because he's having trouble supporting his family. I went into my bank account to make the transfer and saw that my husband had stolen my money to pay for a dating site. We're getting a divorce. I'm still giving his friend a loan. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 12

By PersephoneLame - 04/11/2018 13:01

Today, my now ex-boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he decided he no longer wanted a relationship and wanted to be single and mingle for the rest of his of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 2

By Exhausted waitress - 04/11/2018 12:58

Today was one of our cook's last day since he was leaving. He decided not to care about the any orders and because of that the restaurant was so behind on orders that it would take about an hour for food to come out. Me, being the waitress/hostess, had multiple customers yell at me over late food.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2

By Heteroscodra - 04/11/2018 09:38

Today, my dog picked up the habit of getting cat poop out of the litter box and putting it on my bed. Time to clean the litter box more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 16

By Nervous bass player - 04/11/2018 08:26

Today I performed my first gig in this high school jazz group I’m in. Halfway during the song the teacher made everyone stop playing since my bass was out of tune. He then proceeded to make me tune it infront of the whole crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 26

By sol - 04/11/2018 05:32

Today, I have spent the last two hours with diarrhea and nausea, leaving me to constantly swap ends on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 04/11/2018 04:49

Today, I was making soup for my husband and myself since we are both sick. I already had to go to work overnight so will be working in an hour. somehow while moving the pot of boiling soup off the burner it tipped toward me pouring it down the front of me. Stuck at work in blistering pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 6

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The Top

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 002

You deserved it 2 192

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 289

You deserved it 5 016

Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 904

You deserved it 9 990

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 593

You deserved it 6 882

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 117

You deserved it 61 961

Today, I was home alone and decided to try on my Halloween costume, a giant inflatable dinosaur suit. As I was prancing around the living room, my doorbell rang. Without thinking, I answered it. It was the mailman with a package. The look on his face as he handed a T-rex a box was priceless, but now he probably thinks I’m nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 435