Nearly FMLs

By Ann - 09/11/2018 19:50

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that our relationship "didn't count" up until two weeks ago when we stopped working at the same place and it's too early to move in together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By "Aaron Magliulo" - 09/11/2018 14:56

Today, a kid used the emergency handle on my bus to escape and had to be chased down by the police and get arrested, and now I'm gonna be late to school by at least 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2

By Irons - 09/11/2018 05:51

Today, my best friend of 14 years wont talk to me because she “doesnt share my feelings.” Weird, cause it was her that made a move on me last month when I was in town. We slept together that night and every night til I left. She is the one who kissed me but now my feelings are suddenly a problem FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

By Umbreon - 08/11/2018 23:42

Today, I got in trouble with my parents and they took one of the dozen or so boxes of Pokemon cards I was keeping on the floor. They took the box with my best cards in it, just by chance. They shredded the entire box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 17

By VeryInclusiveFamily - 07/11/2018 22:38 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, after months of fight and miscommunication, I finally broke up with my boyfriend. The thing is, my family, mostly my mother, thinks of him as her own son. Guess who will have to still talk to him ? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 4

By Devalee - 08/11/2018 00:34

Today, I got my eyes dilated. It's also the first day of the festival of lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2

By angry and horny - 08/11/2018 00:06

Today I was masturbating in my apartment when the crazy lady next door started banging on the wall telling me to knock it off because God can see what I'm doing and will surely punish me for it. Why did I move to the city, why, my closest neighbour in my old house was 400 yards down the road FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 07/11/2018 10:47 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, I was at work and we had a shop lifter, my manager asked me to call the police. Me being petrified to call the police I asked him if he knew the number for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 15

By i need better standards - 07/11/2018 08:11

Today I confessed to the man I'm in love with. He excitedly told me about how him and his fiancee are actually not splitting up like I thought, but are back on, planning the big day already, and have started trying for a baby. I think I physically felt my heart break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By Sophiee04 - 06/11/2018 16:38 - United States - Sedona

Today I FaceTimed a friend I only knew online for a few days. I heard one of her friends in the room say "wow she's really ugly"... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1

By BoarWarrior89 - 06/11/2018 23:29

Today, I started the first period I've had in 2 years (thanks PCOS) and I have no pads, am at work, and wore brand new white underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

By ShittyLiving - 06/11/2018 20:45

Today, I had to cut an apple in my room on the other side of the apartment because I noticed the noise echoed on my baby’s monitor as he slept. You can also hear the neighbors walking and banging upstairs and hear people talking in the stairwell outside. We pay $1400 in rent for this POS. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1

By Hornygf - 06/11/2018 13:29 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I got the birth control implant so I could finally have sex with my boyfriend of a year and a half. He then informs me that we won’t be having sex this month because he is participating in no nut November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 5

By NadaChance - 06/11/2018 09:28 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I discovered that the "possible constipation" side effect was a side effect. I now understand the phrase "shitting a brick", my butt still hurts, and I'm scared to use the restroom again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 3

By AkaiKitsune - 05/11/2018 19:24 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I asked the person training me to show me how to alarm the cash office so I didn’t set any alarms off. She accidentally set it with the door closed and us both inside. The alarm went off when she opened the door and our manager is on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 3

By "DeerWombat" - 05/11/2018 15:59

Today, my cousin refuses to be home alone while I go out on a date. I don't like having him around in public cause he frequently plays with his own crotch everywhere he goes. He's 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 5

By Am I gay now? - 05/11/2018 15:41

Today, my neighbour was walking his dog. Wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t notice me wanking it it my livingroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 65

By Iswearimnot - 04/11/2018 23:32

Today I got fired for being racist. All I said was I liked living in England. I swear I’m not racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 3

By DINGDINGFREAKINGDING - 04/11/2018 22:36

Today at work the fire panel alarm system is broke and constantly going off. It is blaring DING DING DING in my ear for 8 hours. The alarm company cant fix it until next week so I will have to spend all week listening to ding ding ding ding...FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2

By nogooddeedgoesunpunished - 04/11/2018 18:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, my husband's friend asked for a loan because he's having trouble supporting his family. I went into my bank account to make the transfer and saw that my husband had stolen my money to pay for a dating site. We're getting a divorce. I'm still giving his friend a loan. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 12

By PersephoneLame - 04/11/2018 13:01

Today, my now ex-boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he decided he no longer wanted a relationship and wanted to be single and mingle for the rest of his of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 2

By Exhausted waitress - 04/11/2018 12:58

Today was one of our cook's last day since he was leaving. He decided not to care about the any orders and because of that the restaurant was so behind on orders that it would take about an hour for food to come out. Me, being the waitress/hostess, had multiple customers yell at me over late food.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2

By Heteroscodra - 04/11/2018 09:38

Today, my dog picked up the habit of getting cat poop out of the litter box and putting it on my bed. Time to clean the litter box more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 16

By Nervous bass player - 04/11/2018 08:26

Today I performed my first gig in this high school jazz group I’m in. Halfway during the song the teacher made everyone stop playing since my bass was out of tune. He then proceeded to make me tune it infront of the whole crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 26

By sol - 04/11/2018 05:32

Today, I have spent the last two hours with diarrhea and nausea, leaving me to constantly swap ends on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 04/11/2018 04:49

Today, I was making soup for my husband and myself since we are both sick. I already had to go to work overnight so will be working in an hour. somehow while moving the pot of boiling soup off the burner it tipped toward me pouring it down the front of me. Stuck at work in blistering pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 6

By Slow Guy - 03/11/2018 01:29

Today, I went to use a treadmill for the first time. It was all going well until my friend pointed out that it was not turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 23

By sunnyray812 - 02/11/2018 14:46 - United States - Rockville

Today, my dad went on a rant about how my boyfriend "belittled" me and said that I need to stick up for myself. This is coming from the person who has reminded me almost daily for years how stupid I am. My boyfriend only smeared cake frosting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 71

sunnyray812 tells us more.

sunnyray812 42

Friday 2 November 2018 1:02

Hey, guys! It's the OP here. I'm surprised but happy this one mainfeeded, so thanks for your votes! (By the way, I don't know why it states I'm a male on the post. Maybe just a glitch in the system.) To give you all some background, my boyfriend and I were having some fun. He's a joker and loves messing around. We made cake, so after dinner, he smashed icing in my face. It was pretty funny. The next day I took my dad to his dentist appointment, and that was when he expressed how he didn't like what my man did. To make it worse, he's pointed out how stupid I am ever since I was a teen, which does hurt my self-esteem. I did let him know long ago that I don't like it, but it went in one ear and out the other. If I were to tell him that during the car ride, nothing would change besides creating drama. However, I did say that the whole icing thing was a joke, which he said was "taken too far." I don't even understand that....I wrote this FML when I was frustrated, after logging into my profile for the first time in a long while. Again, thank you guys for the support. As for those who did the opposite, well, I guess you're like my dad.

By christinedm - 02/11/2018 16:06

Today, I was excited for a working job interview at my dream job, as the interview I had yesterday went really well and the manager said she was confident I got the job. Well this morning she called and informed me that their previous employee came there last night asking for their job back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 2