Nearly FMLs

By gabimk23 - 04/08/2016 18:07

Today, I was driving around with my boyfriend in the new 65 all original mustang he bought, at least it was all original until the lady behind us crashed into it trying to run a red light. Her insurance won't pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 52

By MrsDepends - 04/08/2016 18:00

Today, my husband literally shit the bed. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 60

By CyberPsycho - 04/08/2016 17:45 - United States - Nashville

Today, I agreed to be my sister's servant for three months if she gave me her tickets to a sold-out Taylor Swift concert. She didn't tell me that the tickets were for a concert that took place last year. I still have to do whatever she says for ninety-one days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 183

By Crambone - 04/08/2016 17:24 - United States - Chatsworth

Today, 6 days after having surgery on a hernia, I was feeling better so I decided to take my very hyper dog for a ride since he had been cooped up with me. I asked him "Are you ready to go?" And he immediately jumped up and hit me where my incision is still extremely sore. I wasn't ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 17:12

Today, my boss fired me due to the financial crysis. When I came back to my desk, there was a post it, saying "Today, I've been fired. FML" and "300 FYL" and "99999999 YDI". Guess, someone has been waiting for this to happen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 72

By ejfwf - 04/08/2016 17:11 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while at the beach, I put my phone in my shoe, only to look back and realize it was being stolen by a fox, it's been six hours, I still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 65

By Fuckedagain1775 - 04/08/2016 16:50 - Uganda - Kampala

Today while on deployment after eight months only I am only days from returning home to my family my platoon got word that we will not be leaving for another couple weeks. This is the fifth time this has happened FML.

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 40

By C8H18 - 04/08/2016 16:47

Today, after six months of searching for a second job to make ends meet and finally landing a job last month, my boss announced that the business is shutting down. But don't worry, they'll keep me around for an extra week to clean out the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 36

By P.S.13 - 04/08/2016 16:40 - United States - New Auburn

Today, a girl I have never met before, came up to me and told me I'm ugly and should use a thing called makeup. The worst part is my 14 year old sister agreed with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 36

By OnlyLikesBrunettes. - 04/08/2016 16:23

Today, I realized my boyfriend only wants to have sex with me because I dyed my hair brown. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 55

By gayforjesus - 04/08/2016 16:18 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I had to explain to my 2 year old nephew that no there is not a baby in my stomach and that I just have a big belly. I'm a guy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 52

By forevertoothless - 04/08/2016 16:13 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I went to my morning appointment for my dentist to check on something bugging me. Then, I spent the afternoon under anesthesia at the oral surgeon. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 53

By VixenWolf - 04/08/2016 16:10 - United States - Bellflower

Today, as I was getting on my bus for the hour-long ride to my doctor's office for an appointment, my phone rang. I finished paying my fare, then answered my phone. It was my doctor's office. Guess who called out and canceled all their appointments today? Now I have a 2 hour round trip for nothing.

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 33

By storrent - 04/08/2016 15:47

Today, I got a text from my cousin saying "You like cars, right? Check your driveway." I found my car crashed into my mailbox. I don't even know how they got a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 37

By Chrissie - 04/08/2016 15:33

Today, I came back from my week-long beach holiday. On the flight to the destination, I got the WORST menstruation of my life. I wasn't able to enjoy the beach and the swimming because I had to make sure all the time that I wouldn't bleed on everything. Plus, cramps. It lasted the whole week. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 54

By birthdaygift - 04/08/2016 15:28

Today, my dad got me a really expensive speaker for my 18th birthday. He told me I could use it when one of my friends come over. I think he forgot that I haven't had a friend over in about 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 47

By Hattersparade - 04/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Brighton

Today my boyfriend broke up with me for someone else. This wouldn't be so devastating if we hadnt just signed a lease on a new house and i hadnt spent his entire week away unpacking and taking care of his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 27

By Seriously - 04/08/2016 15:20 - Canada - London

Today, I overheard college students discussing how there is only 60 cents in a dollar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 48

By fu c k ed - 04/08/2016 15:19 - United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, I came home from a three month internship in Mumbai only to return to mine and my boyfriends apartment to meet his month old son and her mother. Wearing my lingerie. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 33

By AnonymousMeh - 04/08/2016 15:02 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me half an hour after dumping for not one other girl, but other girls in general. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 35

By LaMiserable - 04/08/2016 14:52 - Bulgaria

Today, it is officially 9 months since my boyfriend came from France to live with me in Bulgaria. I found him the perfect job and flat to live in, heck I'm even buying my own place so we can live in it without paying rent... And today he told me he is not ready for a serious relationship YET. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 30

By SherbetGlitter - 04/08/2016 14:42 - New Zealand

Today, I was playing mini-golf. I tried to putt up a ramp and through an arch, and after five attempts of hitting it and having the ball roll back I decided to give it decent hit to see if it would go up. It went up all right, straight into the side of the arch and back at my (now bruised) face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 45

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 14:21 - Germany - Darmstadt

Today, my boyfriend told me something about his friend that the friends girlfriend must not to know. She is a good friend of mine, had a suspicion and asked me about it. I just wasn't able to lie to her. My boyfriend of seven years now thinks I'm not trustworthy and doubts our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 79

By yup it works - 04/08/2016 06:12

Today, my dog's electric collar didn't seem to be working, so I decided to test it on myself. After the low setting didn't work logically I turned it up to the max setting. Manically it started to work again. I couldn't feel my whole forearm for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 261

By Tigris_Star - 04/08/2016 05:20 - United States

Today, my dad bought me multiple bottles of my favorite childhood soda drink I used to drink almost every day, I didn't have the heart to tell him I stopped drinking soda a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 111

By Sky - 04/08/2016 04:07 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I was walking home when a lady mugged me in broad daylight. I was at a crowded community center during a military event, surrounded by people who watched as my wallet was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 59

By Luckythirteen - 03/08/2016 22:33

Today, I discovered my luck hit an all time low. I finally got a good union job. Just as I was hired and they took my union dues out the plant announces they are closing the plant down. Thanks for the opportunity.FML.

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 46

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 21:26 - United States - Bastrop

Today, while having extremely rough sex with my girlfriend, I felt large drops of liquid on my chest. Turning the light on, I see blood covering her face and my body. She ran towards the bathroom, making my room look like a murder scene. Nose bleeds really can kill the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 67

By alana554 - 03/08/2016 19:12 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I went bodyboarding in the ocean with my little cousin. There was a huge, maybe six foot wave, that crashed over us when I tried to ride it. I'm really short so I got sucked under. When I emerged, it took me a few seconds to realize my boobs were hanging out in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 63

By AWOL - 03/08/2016 18:54 - United States - Waukesha

Today my gf went off on me for spending the money I am "supposed to be saving for an engagement ring" on my student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 34

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 257

You deserved it 3 656

Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 101

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 2 241

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 350

You deserved it 2 143

Today, I just got back from school with my mouth feeling like a bomb site, and also very hungry. I just got my braces installed yesterday, and I have to wear them for 18 months. I can barely eat anything solid, which means I will be hungry more often. It's going to be an awesome 18 months trying to focus on school! FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 143

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 4 846