Nearly FMLs

By toothless - 29/07/2016 18:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, while walking into my job I tripped, fell and completely broke my front teeth. now I'm sitting in the dentist office with a $9,000 estimate of getting new teeth. funny thing is this is with insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 40

By Karma got me like - 29/07/2016 18:09

Today, I have to finish school assignments and prepare for 2 finals. My school warned me I would have to, "Spend 25 hours a day studying", to pass. I said challenged accepted. Too bad I can't focus right now because an hour ago I was diagnosed with herpes. I was wearing a condom at the time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 92

By fabulousfiasco - 29/07/2016 17:55 - United States - South Gate

Today, I saw a fuzzball on the floor so I swooped down to pick it up as I was walking by. Turns out, it was a piece of foamy cat spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 44

By bloodymary - 29/07/2016 17:41 - United States - Marietta

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex for the fourth time. We both thought that I was off my period. Skipping through all the more or less explicit details, she looked like she had just murdered someone with her right hand. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 59

By randomname98 - 29/07/2016 17:38 - United States - Elk River

Today, after I got home from work, my socks had stuck to my skin so bad that I peeled an entire layer of skin off with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 35

By katojito - 29/07/2016 17:37

Today, I found out I sleep with my mouth open. How did I find out? After I woke up with a spider in my mouth. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 30

By FMLFreakShow - 29/07/2016 17:25

Today, after being embarrassed in public, and disowned by my town, I had to go babysit. The kid is 12 and a boy. He kept asking to squeeze my boobs, and ass. I told him that's not polite. He walked into the kitchen, slammed his head on a counter then told his parents I beat him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 30

By FalloutScrolls - 29/07/2016 17:10

Today, I fell off a ladder after going into diabetic shock while cleaning out my gutters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 31

By awkward face to face - 29/07/2016 16:30 - United States - Traverse City

Today, I walked in on a delivery man on the shitter at work. This is the second time in just as many months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 33

By NotWise - 29/07/2016 16:13 - United States - Muncie

Today I had my wisdom teeth out, bloodied, swollen and miserable my grandmother looks over at me and says "Your breath stinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 34

By KillMeeeeeeeeeee - 29/07/2016 16:07 - United States - Stafford

Today, I brought home a new puppy my boyfriend and I have had our eyes on for a while. He broke up with right as I got home and kept the puppy as he told me I had 2 days to move out. I was the one who payed for the puppy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 29

By FuckMyLife - 29/07/2016 15:58 - United States - Stafford

Today, I decided to clean up around the house to surprise my boyfriend. When he came home, he threw up all over the ground. He told me to make myself useful and clean it up while he took a nap. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 34

By Caitlin - 29/07/2016 15:53

Today, my family and I went on vacation. My father insisted we shouldn't get gas to save time. When we broke down, he blamed it on me. Now I'm being given the silent treatment for ruining our vacation. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 24

By Local Sea Monster - 29/07/2016 15:45 - United States - Murrieta

Today, just as I am about to pop my breakfast in the microwave, the power goes out. The stove will not work, the fridge is off, and the garage (with my car) will not open. The nearest food place is 4 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 35

By Kyleylynn - 29/07/2016 15:44 - United States

Today, I found out my dad got married to someone my age. Also found out she might be pregnant, I am also currently pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 27

By ALonelyStranger - 29/07/2016 15:38 - United States - Arlington

Today, my mom comes in randomly at night and turns on my light to see if I am sleeping and not on my phone. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 58

By me - 29/07/2016 15:15 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I found out my great grandma passed away. And her funeral is on my birthday.

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 35

By somegirlinbfe - 29/07/2016 15:04 - United States - Conneaut Lake

Today, my child support payment got sent to my daughter's father's other child's mother, so she not only got her payment but mine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 24

By foureyes - 29/07/2016 14:57 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had to get between a coworker and her crazy ex, who was armed with a boxcutter. I do not get paid enough for this.

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 14:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, in front of my brother and sister, my mother loudly proclaimed that I'm her favorite child because I'm the only one that will likely give her grandkids. My siblings hate me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 23

By wellllnuts - 29/07/2016 14:55

Today, my best friend's wife and I realized we were in love with each other. We are all about to take a two week long vacation together. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 63

By Angry is sexy - 29/07/2016 14:55 - United States - San Antonio

Today, for her birthday my girlfriend wanted a night of long steamy sex. But her rarely being so in the mood after a few minutes I got close so she tried to massage my back, when I told her that wasn't helping she laid down pouting and angry. Next to me. In lingerie. I came.

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 27

By Kadee67 - 29/07/2016 14:48 - United States - Woodbury

Today I woke up with my period, killer cramps and PMS. I was just starting to feel better from my gallbladder surgery 4 days ago, where the pain has been horrible FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 16

By Girlyvoice - 29/07/2016 14:29 - Canada

Every time I answer the phone, the caller thinks I'm my mother. I'm a 14 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 28

By exhusband506 - 29/07/2016 13:41

Today I realized that, by far, the person who texts me the most is my ex-wife. Lord I need some friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 22

By oops - 29/07/2016 13:02 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, as I was eating mini wheats, I was entertaining myself by reading the ingredients in the cereal. I noticed one main ingredient read "gelatin," a substance taken from the bones and cartilage of pigs and cows. I've been eating mini wheats since I was four years old. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 59

By wetbed - 29/07/2016 12:51 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my girlfriend surprised me by tearing my jocks off for sex for the first time in 2 months. She jumps on top and begins to ride me. I grab her hips and start to help. She says don't squeeze to hard or she'll pee. Turns out she wasn't lying. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 31

By Cosmo - 29/07/2016 12:28

Today, my date dropped his pint on the floor, then looked at me and asked, "Aren't you going to clean that up?"... FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 12

By Cosmo - 29/07/2016 12:26 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I received an aggressive voicemail from a date asking why I was late. We were due to meet at 7pm - it was 1 minute past! FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 20

By ViolatedAsAMan - 29/07/2016 11:35 - United States - Chanute

Today, my fiancee and I enrolled at college. while we were listening to the President speak, my fiancee kept pinching my butt. Or at least I thought she was until I saw her hands on her lap in front of her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 24

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 542

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 198

You deserved it 32 917

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 520

You deserved it 59 240

Feeding sharks is dangerous - you might lose something important!

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 462

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 480

You deserved it 5 402

Today, I found out that shorts are inappropriate to wear in the office. If it wasn't the staff-wide meeting or my coworker telling me to change, I've been sitting in the back praying it's time to clock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 600