Nearly FMLs

By too cold for this shit - 16/01/2017 08:58

Today, I had a hot flash so bad it made me run outside into the snow.... now I'm so cold I had to take a hot bath. Resulting in another hot flash. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 40

By Babszilla - 16/01/2017 07:38

Today, I turned 19. Last week, my mother denied ever offering to pay for my cruise to the Bahamas in April, and yesterday, when the rain storm made me postpone my birthday plans, she denied ever having offered to pay for my party. Happy Birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 38

By Lifeisshit - 16/01/2017 07:20

Today i was disowned by my in laws for not making more than $30,000 a year and my wife thinks i dont do enough even though she doesnt bring anything in, this all escelated after my father in laws truck was crashed. My wife is the one that crashed it FML.

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 06:14

Today, I bet $350 for the Packers to beat the Cowboys and won. Happy I took a several.shots of tequila and thought it would be a good idea to go double or nothing picking the Chiefs to beat the Steelers. I lost my $350. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 304

By friend zoned - 16/01/2017 05:22

Today, the guy I like placed me so far into the friend-zone that he sent screen shots of his conversation with his current almost-girlfriend to ask what to say next. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 36

By person101 - 16/01/2017 05:18

I ran out of conditioner, so I went into my parent's room to find some under the bathroom sink. When I opened up the cabinet, the only thing there was towel and a black dildo standing upright.

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 63

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 04:26

Today, I finally had to come to terms with my internet addiction when a shirt fell off of a hangar in my closet and I looked for the 'undo' button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 94

By needspee - 16/01/2017 04:09

Today, me and my family were in a very long car trip and finally got home after over 3 hours. My mom immediately declared she would shower first but then my sister asked if she's could "quickly" pee before. I asked too but she was in there so long I couldn't take it and had to pee in a cup. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 17

By dudeathome - 16/01/2017 04:02

Today, my school has no Internet because of the power failure. My teachers and counselor had already written the references for me and they keep delaying the upload of those files. Now there is literally one hour left and the deadline will be missed, fml.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 02:53

Today, due to my allergies to bug bites, I can't go outside or even open my windows. It's the middle of summer here in New Zealand and my house has no air-con. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 02:24

Today, I was at my ex's house and I forgot she had roaches and I got a big handful of cereal and a big mouth full of roaches FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 00:27

Today, I was out grocery shopping with my mother. At the check out the cashier rang up a bottle of white wine and stated that obviously my mother was the buyer because I was too young. I'm 29 years old and just happen to be baby faced and short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 23:43

Today, 2 of my old friends broke friendship with me saying I am too stingy and selfish. I am 21, barely managing my own finances in med school in China and under heavy study loans and all they care about is electronic items from me, because I'm in China.... #Sad

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 18

By FertileMyrtle - 15/01/2017 22:12

Today, I found out that the 35yo ive been seeing, who had actually had a vasectomy, had gotten me pregnant. I'm 20.

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 104

By Ava_Darkflame - 15/01/2017 22:07

Today, my best friend of 7 years started ranting about how gay people are a disgrace to god, and how they are all going to hell. I am a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 28

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 21:49

Today, it's Sunday and I rather stay at the library till 10pm than going back where I'd see my housemate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 6

By GodSend121 - 15/01/2017 19:50

Today, as I finished my dinner way before my dad, who was holding my 4 month old brother to stop him crying, I decided to take him from my dad so he could eat. My brother picked this moment to shit in his diaper, to which my dad said "whoever he unloads on, has to change him" rule. He has diarrhoea.

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 19:06

Today, I got in a car accident and now I have a massive concussion and can't go to school. It's finals week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 16

By Peridax - 15/01/2017 16:05

Today, my boss made me clean the entire store, and when I was done he called me into his office and told me I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 8

By :( - 15/01/2017 14:37

Today, we've liked each other for two and a half years, but he could never get out of his relationship. He finally did, and I was waiting a respectful amount of time to tell him I loved him. I asked him to hang out and he told me "I would but I've been seeing somebody and it's serious."

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 35

By Catdragon - 15/01/2017 10:09

Today, my cat peed on my drawing tablet. I use this to draw commissions for people and I recently took some to pay for his vet bill since he can't stop fighting other male cats. I still need to get the art pieces done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 09:34

Today, I learned that the guy I really like has erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 29

By SuperStraight - 15/01/2017 09:18

Today, I learned that my desperate brother thinks I'm a lesbian or asexual because I am single and I don't act like a thirsty ho like he does. He told people I like girls. We live in the deep south and I'm VERY straight. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 07:43

Today, I bought an expensive piece of tech for school years ago. Now the school requires a license to register it. To get the rebate for the license, I need the original receipt and box. 'Murican education. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 07:32

Today, the new girl sat next to me in class. Yesterday was my 16th birthday and since I'm slightly smaller than normal (5'7" 110lbs), my friends and I joked I was now 10. I guess she misheard us because she asked if I was really 12. The whole class started laughing. The worst part? She's 4'3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 07:25

Today, I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me with someone she met online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 14

By anon - 15/01/2017 07:02

Today, I got a new laptop. I spent the whole day trying to install Linux on it only for it to fail to start up. I restored a backup and I'm back to the start with the windows 10 that it came with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 35

By mybodyhatesme - 15/01/2017 06:44

Today, I've had the flu for the past three days. Between vomiting and sleeping, I wasn't able to eat much of anything. After finally feeling good enough to eat a meal, I decided on Mexican food because it was the only thing that sounded good. Guess who now has food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 06:35

Today, I found out that my ex is having a son and is going to pursue a relationship with the mom. This would be fine if we hadn't just confessed our love to each other earlier this week and made plans to talk about how we want things to go in the near future.

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 20

By chayla - 15/01/2017 05:57

Today, my mother took $200 from me, because she was tired of her tablet being slow and doesn't have a job to buy a new one with her own money. I'm 17 and now out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 18

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 163

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 146

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 672

You deserved it 6 748

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 329

Today, I helped my best friend step out of the friendzone. As a result, I don't have a boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 205