Nearly FMLs

By Snowproblem - 11/01/2017 00:10

Today, my coworker offered to work if the weather got bad, since she lives in town and I don't. Today is also the day she changed her mind, since she "didn't know how bad it was actually going to get". She's the one on the schedule for today's 12-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 668

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 00:02

Just got a new job and my colleague I have been flirting with gave me a ring and it turned out it's his wife's who is also my colleague and they were both pranking me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 78

By I don't get it - 10/01/2017 23:45

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. We were on long distance and he told me he has a "serious crush" on someone else and is currently trying to figure out if it's worth throwing away our whole relationship for. Oh, and he doesn't even know how much he cares and in what way, yet. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 28

By poop - 10/01/2017 23:15

Today,my pregnant neighbor went into labor and in the rush to leave her hubby knocked on my door & ask I watch their 2 & 5 year olds. All is well till I heard squeals coming from my guest bedroom. I open the door to find the 2 year old with poopy diaper in hand has poop-casso'd the entire room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 22:13

Today, Is my now 6 year old daughter's birthday party. after inviting 15 kids from her class, making a huge 2 flavor character cake and cutting pool noodles in half for light sabers only 1 kid showed up. fml

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 28

By Shemalefreak - 10/01/2017 19:47

Today my partner gave me his call report. He is an addict and said the money he drew after midnight was for drugs after I saw his browser open on a site for shemale escorts. There were no calls to a dealer or anyone else. The escort site all advertise internet messaging which leaves no record. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 40

By customerservicer - 10/01/2017 18:47

Today, I had to tell a solicitor that we don't accept solicitations at this number. He asked me if we had a number that did accept solicitations.. no. No sir we don't have reps ready to hear your sales pitch for shit we aren't interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 18:42

Today, I was so depressed and so exhausted, that I didn't go to pharmacy to get my new medication; the one which should help me overcome my depression and make me feel less exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 82

By oreo00 - 10/01/2017 17:46

Today, I fell asleep while on the phone with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 17:30

Today, I went to my secondry-school as usual, since I knew that my final exams are starting, altought, I couldn't join in. Why? because I had to pay 100 L.E (50$) as a payment for the whole term, I only had 93 L.E, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 16:49

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and said I want to make love to you. Literally 5 seconds into us starting to kiss he fell asleep.

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 51

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 15:54

Today, my only two friends got engaged to each other, making me even more of a third wheel than I was. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 32

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 15:17

Today, I found out that my dad lost his job. Then, I found out that my mom has a tumor in her shoulder and it's probably cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 17

By Frankfurt - 10/01/2017 15:15

Today i gave a homeless man some food i had bought for myself he jabbed at me and said "do i look homeless". He had been there for a week fml

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 21

By Frankfurt - 10/01/2017 15:12

Today my boss made me clean the whole store from top to bottom. Then she sat down and had lunch while i cried in the back fml

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 45

By BlueFox - 10/01/2017 14:28

Today, I went out with my father for the first time in 3 years. He was taking me out to eat and then to a doctor's appointment. At the end of it all, turns out he only used me for Buffalo wings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 684

You deserved it 587

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 07:13

Today, I went clothes shopping in Malaysia and couldn't fit into any of the dresses in a shop. I'm an Australian size 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 06:51

Last Christmas, my son excitedly opened his present hoping for his long desired game. It was sold out at the store, so I bought him another thing. He started to cry in dissapointment, and then remembered his manners and tried to thank me and say he loved it, still crying.

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 41

By laken212 - 10/01/2017 05:27

Today, I was hangout with my boyfriend when my stomach started cramping and hurting really bad. So I went to the bathroom hoping it would pass, I ended up in the bathroom for an hour and clogged his toilet. Now he wont stop knocking on the door asking if I'm okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 05:09

Today, A squirrel at our camp had gotten into our food. We'd noticed it managed to get ahold of our four-year-old cayan pepper seasoning and had ingested about half. It ran away from the table frantically with a stream of squirrel diarrhea spraying in all directions, all over our food and table.

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 10/01/2017 04:08

Today, I had to walk to school in three degree weather. Not to mention that school is 3 miles away, I had nothing clean to wear except gym shorts and thermal underwear, and the sidewalk was frozen over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 104

By Failing me - 10/01/2017 03:39

Today I didn't get a call back from my public defender on a case I got from a warrant I have had for two years. Got turned down for a job from my ex-druged out roommate who still owes me money. Now I'm thirty, live with my dad, broke, alone, on probation, unemployed, and facing another case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 94

By TrueTalent - 10/01/2017 03:13

Today, some dihedral comes up to me as I'm listening to heavy metal and says "you should listen to real talented musicians" and then handed me a Lil Wayne CD. I'm not kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 33

By anyy - 10/01/2017 02:55

Today, I decided to have sex over the phone with my boyfriend, he lives 5 hours away from me, as I was finishing , he fell asleep. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 36

By Lotsofpeoplesaw - 09/01/2017 23:55

Today, I accidentally clicked the "share" button whilst watching some freaky porn. Because I never log out, it automatically posted it to facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 318

By Anon - 09/01/2017 23:50

Today, my grandmother told me the little boy I babysit on Sundays (Who is 2 years old) said I was a "Cutie pie" to his grandparents. My boyfriend overheard and didn't believe me when i said i wasn't cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 16

By notsosinglewhitefemale - 09/01/2017 17:55

Today, I work at a daycare and pink eye has been going around, so it was no surprise when I woke with it as well. I told my boss what happened. We agreed I would come in after seeing a doctor. Made the earliest appointment possible. She has been calling me, berating me about how long it is taking.

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 17:22

Today, I am single because after 2 years together, it is not acceptable to be facebook friends with an an ex whom I haven't spoken with for years.

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 102

By unsupportive? - 09/01/2017 16:32

Today, my boyfriend called me an unsupportive bitch because...even though I gave him every penny I had, every cent my credit card would allow, every moment of my time to clean his house, and every ounce of my sanity to mother his kids...I told him his boss said he needed to go to work on time.

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 16:23

Today, after buying my son new toy story underwear, he yelled to the drive thru workers at McDonald's "I've got a woody in my pants." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 47

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my cheating ex is still happily married with his new wife and kids 4 years after he left me for her. Meanwhile, I keep getting ghosted, left on “Read/Seen”, and getting a guy to be into me is like pulling teeth. I think it’s time to throw the towel on love and die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 226

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my parents and family. Everybody was happy, except for my dad, who totally freaked out and won't talk to me. The reason: he secretly hoped that I would break up with my husband, and now that we're expecting a baby he can't "get rid of him" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 456

You deserved it 496

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 913

You deserved it 20 694

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 336

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 808

You deserved it 6 169

Today, my girlfriend had one of her seizures during foreplay. She’s fine, but I’m not, she had my penis in her hand and while seizing she squeezed it so hard she ruptured some blood vessels on the inside. I'm now walking bowlegged and on medication to stop me getting erections that might cause more damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 145