Nearly FMLs

By Dumbass - 13/01/2017 10:22

Today, my girlfriend left me after she found out I filmed myself with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 144

By anonymous - 13/01/2017 08:29

Today, while trying to sleep, my husband was snoring away on his back and won't wake up to move after many attempts to wake him. I have the flu, just started my period and only 4 hours of sleep in 2 days. I can't go in another room because we don't have extra blankets or heat right now.

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 11

By TheRichElf - 13/01/2017 07:16

Today, I logged on to check the status of an application for a new academic position I had recently applied for. However, the application itself was due on December 31st at 11:59pm EST and, in a drunken stupor, had apparently edited some of my essay to include phrases like "klfaj slk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 189

By alone4ever - 13/01/2017 07:15

Today, an acquaintance who went through a divorce around the same time I did last year has already met the love of her life, gotten married and posted the wedding photos to social media. Meanwhile, I'm still single AF and sitting home taking pictures of my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 412

You deserved it 1 295

By Quanz - 13/01/2017 06:38

The other day my dad took me out to dinner. He got drunk and told me about his three girlfriends and how his sex life is going. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 15

By notagreatday - 13/01/2017 05:10

Today, I got lost in Orleans for 2 hours with no GPS or working phone at 1am. The only way I got help was when my car lost control & landed in a snow bank. I was told I have to pay $1500 for towing which I can't afford. It costs an additional $60 a day to leave it there! FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 22

By Count_Coolness - 13/01/2017 04:36

Today, I tried to eat a slice of pizza from last night as my breakfast. As I grabbed the slice without looking and taking a big bite I discovered a colony of ants had gotten to it first. The amount of bites on my face and lips is insane

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 102

By SluttyAndStupid - 13/01/2017 04:10

Today, I was on a date with a girl and it was going well until we started swapping health class stories. Because it was relevant to what she said, I joked that I'd never had sex in a ravine. Then I realized that wasn't true and for some reason told her that. She hasn't texted. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 89

By anarchy61 - 13/01/2017 03:17

Today, being a firm believer of Bigfoot and other magnificent creatures of such nature, my future wife had to bail me out of jail because I tackled a figure who I thought was Bigfoot. To my surprise "bigfoot" was only a really hairy guy. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 13/01/2017 02:05

Today, marks four years since we moved next door to my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 13/01/2017 01:09

Today, I broke my ankle. On a stage. Right before the production of my drama club's musical.

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 14

By So lovable - 13/01/2017 00:56

Today, after a confusing year I found out my boyfriend of 9 years does share the same feelings as me. To bad they're directed at another woman. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 12

By Illneverhavesexagain - 13/01/2017 00:33

Today, after assuring my friends that, contrary to my reputation, there were no naughty pictures on my phone, it showed the one I took on Christmas and forgot about next. The one of my fiance. In bed. Naked. After sex. I'm never going to live this down. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 12/01/2017 20:46

Today, I literally cried when one of my teachers asked how I was doing, just because he is probably the only one who cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 20

By Snowdriftless - 12/01/2017 20:35

Today, Christmas 2017, my wife and I received a Sears gift card from my grandparents. We received the same thing last year and the Sears in our town closed last year. They said it should be fine because you can use them at Kmart. Now the Kmart in our town is also closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 29

By puke face - 12/01/2017 19:34

Today, I went to a dinner party with my professors and other high up people in the uni. I've been feeling under the weather, but as soon as the speeches started, I had to run across the room to throw up in the toilet. Everyone heard me hurl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 16

By he pays for everything already - 12/01/2017 18:16

Today, my son moved out. I was angry and tried to stop him. The last thing he said was "fuck you! Now I can smoke all the weed I want!" before hopping in the taxi cab and riding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 103

By dingoandthebabyyyy - 12/01/2017 12:30

Today, I had a 2 hour walk home as the bus I was supposed to get drove straight past the stop I was at. Making matters worse I'm not familiar with that area of town and only had about 2% battery left on my phone that I was planning on using as a map.

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 35

By Anonymous - 12/01/2017 08:16

Today, I found out my 11 year old step son still has his mother wipe his bottom after relieving himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 26

By patheticmaster - 12/01/2017 04:23

Today, after completing my masters and being over 100K in debt, I finally was offered a dream position after 9 months of applying. They originally told me it was salaried but after offering it to me told me they can't afford it so it's now an unpaid internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 26

By the less attractive guy - 12/01/2017 03:50

Today, I was hanging out with my guy friend when suddenly a group of girls we know came up to us. They all greeted him and carried on a conversation that I was having with my friend. This all happened while totally oblivious to my company. They even ignored me when they said goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 21

By Badcrushluck - 12/01/2017 01:43

Today, I pointed out a really cute guy at my school. One of my friends immediately said "you know he's a satanist, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 20

By rukiddingme - 11/01/2017 23:58

Today, after returning home from work my garage door refused to stay closed. Once closed I went out into the backyard. After trying to enter the house the new keypad stopped working leaving me now locked outside. My only option was to hop the fence. Too bad the garage keypad stopped working too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 03:39

Today, after buying my son new toy story underwear, he yelled to the drive thru workers at McDonald's "I've got a woody in my pants." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 03:39

Today, after buying my son new toy story underwear, he yelled to the drive thru workers at McDonald's "I've got a woody in my pants." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 01:53

Today, we went shopping and we locked a set of keys in the car and no towing service so we had to call a taxi and then have him drive back to our house to get the other set of keys and go back we could not find the keys at all until my wife said oh I put both sets of keys in the car.

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 15

By Bennie - 11/01/2017 01:27

Today, I had to break it off with the first person I've clicked with since I broke up with my fiancée last year. I knew she'd dated my brother in the past, but it turns out he's still in love with her just enough for it to utterly crush him. I know I did the right thing, but I'm still gutted. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 50

By LoveToGoToUniversity - 11/01/2017 01:21

Today I'm in a long distance relationship; yet we have phonesex regularly. This night I realised I can only Orgasm during those times if I imagine the condom breaking. My womb already heavily manipulates me, although I'm only 20 years old and love my studies and job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 43

By why - 11/01/2017 00:59

Today, mind you I'm as blind as a bat, was taking a shower when I thought I saw hair in the drain. Going to pick it up my long hair out of the drain a hairy millipede ran up my arm. I slipped and took the shower curtain with me causing me to break my hip.

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 26

By Anonymous - 11/01/2017 00:30

Today, my son told me he tasted his poop, cuz he thought it would taste funny. He didn't like it. He's 7.

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 35

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 1 132

Today, I posted a simple question on a Facebook group about 2000s nostalgia, talking about missing the old stuff and how I don't like modern stuff, and people got annoyed over that. What the fuck did I do to you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 456

Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 133

Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 097

You deserved it 30 642

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 893

You deserved it 2 308

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 148

You deserved it 78 966