Nearly FMLs

By BrokenHearted - 09/01/2017 10:08

Today, after two days, I finally received an answer from my crush about my confession to him. It was a no. By text. During my break at work. I had to fake a smile for four more hours of customer service before I could finally go home and cry about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 49

By gothickitten - 09/01/2017 08:43

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend and while having sex I banged my head against the wall which sent me to the hospital. While there we called my family. It was hard to explain to them that sex sent me to the er while my bf was laughing so hard along with the nurse. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 07:41

Today, I came to the realization that, after spending over a grand on a Xbox One and accessories, I can't even use it. Why? Because my mother refuses to allow any time to be spent that isn't to clean her immaculate trailer. She says this as my 2 brother spend all day watching YouTube on my Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 43

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 07:34

Today, my anxiety has gotten so bad that I have to wake my cat up periodically just to make sure she's still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 46

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 03:20

Today, after buying my son new toy story underwear, he yelled to the drive thru workers at McDonald's "I've got a woody in my pants." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 03:07

Today, after buying my son new toy story underwear, he yelled to the drive thru workers at McDonald's "I've got a woody in my pants." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 41

By ynot - 09/01/2017 00:38

Today, I sprained my ankle, my girlfriend broke up with me and my boss says I have no choice but to come into work tomorrow FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 23:35

Today, it's been freezing for quite some days. Somehow one fly survived and managed to get inside only to keep me awake in the middle of the night. It won't stop buzzing. And my husband is snoring. And I'm just a few hours away from Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 28

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 23:33

Today, like past 2 days, I had stomach flu. On top of that, my computer's new $300 processor decided to die, and the public bus drivers are going on strike next week. If I stay at home I can't do anything and even if I decide to go to work I can't. I can't even get a bus to the doctor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 23

By savageboi12212 - 08/01/2017 22:33

Today, I got rejected for my 52nd time, I'm not joking... FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 54

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 22:19

Today, for the first time ever I broke my phone. how? I took a nap and it fell from my couch to the floor. It's shattered. I just loaned my mom $150, and now have to wait to get a phone because I'm broke. I'm as broke as my phone.

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 37

By Alex - 08/01/2017 22:08

Today i got in a pretty intense argument with my GF and left her apartment. I later felt bad about my reaction and surprised her by showing up at her place a few hours later. We start kissing while playing and suddenly our teeth collide and a piece of my tooth breaks off... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 20:34

Today, it's been over a year since I last went on a date. I agreed to meet a guy on New Year's Eve after convincing from a friend. he stood me up and blocked me. My New Year's kiss was my dog.

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 19:47

This year, on New Years, my friends and I decided to go to IHop at 3am. I was so sleep deprived that at some point I made eye contact with a random waitress passing by and my first response was to sit up straight, spread out my arms, and enthusiastically exclaim "Thank You!". 3 full tables saw me.

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 52

By DunGoofed - 08/01/2017 19:08

Today, I have a hangover. Last night me and my friends texted my crush that I won't sleep with him because, "We're not even dating and I miss my ex and I just want sex." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 119

By WePutTheFunInDisfunctional - 08/01/2017 17:16

I was at a family function, listening to my aunts and mom complain about their eyesight. When my female 19yr old cousin mumbles, "Eye drops are for poor people". Wait, what?

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 13

By HandsSolo - 08/01/2017 17:15

Today, all my project group mates decided not to care anymore. The deadline is tomorrow. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 15

By Briee - 08/01/2017 14:47

Today I was napping on the couch when my cat decided to join me. When I woke up, I must have startled her and she decided to launch off my crotch. I now have claw marks on my vaj jay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 31

By Joe - 08/01/2017 10:58

Today I return from a 3-month business trip back to her apartment just to found out she has beening sleeping with bunch of other ppl including women, and fell in love with another guy. Then told me to leave the apartment next morning after over 30 hours of international travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 26

By Sad face emoji - 08/01/2017 10:26

Today, I lost my virginity. Today was also the day my husband saw my orgasm face....he went limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 53

By Battered & Bruised - 08/01/2017 10:20

I had to get out to get some exercise and distract myself, I just quit smoking. The woman I recently fell for hates it; and we'd planned a surfing road trip next week (summer down under). Not only did I break both my arm and leg today, but I was dumped because she guesses 'it's just not meant to be'

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 20

By anonymous - 08/01/2017 09:32

Today,someone called in to work with the flu again. I cover their shifts and do their job since they got hired yet I don't get the pay or the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 09:18

Today, I came home from work, took off my shoes and laid in bed. I turned around just in time to see my dog chewing up my only pair of shoes. I work tomorrow with no shoes. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 40

By Autocme - 08/01/2017 09:03

Today I decided I was going to drive for Lyft on a guaranteed time but I received no customers, had a cancelation and I stayed up till 12 a.m. for nothing FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 21

By a pissed off girl who needs her damn privacy - 08/01/2017 08:12

Today, my parents decided to take my bedroom door away because I didn't keep it open 24/7 so the pets could go in or out whenever they please, like wtf? What do you think doors are for? I need my privacy and I need to block out the extra noise caused by my sibling and the tv down stairs. Just fml

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 35

By Dumped - 08/01/2017 08:06

Today, I told my boyfriend to not send me inappropriate pictures because my nieces were playing with my phone and he told me to delete his number out of my phone, FML!

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 31

By lonelygirl - 08/01/2017 06:54

Today, the guy I like asked me if it was okay if he asked one of my closest friends on a date. That'd be fine if we hadn't been "talking" and been flirting/going on dates for the past 2 months...FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 27

By Annoyed - 08/01/2017 06:53

Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen KungFu Panda 3. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 41

By dig bick - 08/01/2017 05:02

Today, I was just about to get a bj, then I found out "she" was a guy FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 08/01/2017 03:24

Today, on my way to work a man sat beside me on the crowded subway and he smelt so bad it made me throw up. I still haven't been able to get his smell off me.

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 17

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The Top

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 276

You deserved it 7 793

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 973

You deserved it 11 619

Today, I woke up to find my 8 year-old on my phone, reading explicit messages between my boyfriend and me. Apparently, having a password that is a jumble of random letters and numbers is too easy for her to guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 512

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 109

You deserved it 16 242

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 434

You deserved it 13 821

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again, but I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out." My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 389

You deserved it 4 779