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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

#85047
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52508) - you deserved it (1969)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (10572)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16050) - you deserved it (31803)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (27369)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (8308)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (69137)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (9199)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (27788)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML

#5890
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5247) - you deserved it (57845)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:46am - work - by poisonhand (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (20122)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18620) - you deserved it (7042)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

#5588
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by Rachel (woman) - United States (California)



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