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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML

#21421488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (2543)

On 06/05/2015 at 9:00pm - work - by cbarr98 - United States (Iowa)

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

#21420888
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (1966)

On 06/04/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (4907)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (1571)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML

#21419304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (1932)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:46pm - work - by thankyouforcalling (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

#21417788
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (5194)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:34pm - work - by explosivepeach - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

#21416754
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2124)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm - work - by smyp - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36670) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

#21415827
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (1758)

On 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by tmi4me - United States

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML



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