The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 993

Speak your brains

By ValerieRolle - 28/04/2022 18:00

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 3 303

Hangover Struggles

By FML Videos - 27/10/2018 18:00 - United States - New York

That is one thirsty pig!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 84

End of the road

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife of 21 years fell asleep while we were about to have sex for the eighth time this month. Turns out she can't and won't have sex with me because she has hickies all over her tits and she'd consider it cheating on her new boyfriend, who she just met. I tried to jack off but she fell asleep on my penis, and that was that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 213

Fat Cat

By FML Videos - 12/10/2018 19:20 - United States - New York

He's not fat, he's just fluffy.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 78

Open Minded

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 18:00 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 747

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 08:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I asked my coworker how she met the old guy from Squid Games. It turned out to be a picture of her with her grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 215

Nice support system you've got there

By Anonymous - 24/08/2023 22:00

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my parents, expecting them to be thrilled. Instead, they were furious. Apparently, being unmarried and on disability means I can't raise a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 646

Wild Week

By FML Videos - 24/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Oof.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 95

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 207

Undo! Undo!

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 16:00

Today, I emailed a bunch of documents to a potential client, only to later realise later I'd also emailed them a folder of mine and my husband's very intimate photos. There’s things in there we only do when I’m very drunk, and am very embarrassed by. I’ve been ducking my bosses calls for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 274

Dating Struggles

By FML Videos - 26/09/2018 18:30

Poor lad.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 88

She has a point

By terminated - 14/01/2023 02:00

Today, one of my employees was a few minutes late without notice. I asked in the work group chat, “How are you gonna take a shift and not show up for it?” She responded with, “How are you gonna talk shit about your baby mama and then get her pregnant again?” I’ve never fired anyone so fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 2 693

Puddle Jumper

By FML Videos - 28/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Close but no cigar!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 66

My friends' reaction when I see my ex

By Lewis - 13/12/2018 17:58 - France - Paris

Let it go!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 66

Professional

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 17:01 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to a private escort, only to later realise that I sent it off my work email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 782

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 16:00

Today, there's an ongoing family situation which is stressful and frustrating. I had to deal with something having to do with that for my sister-in-law. I was annoyed and wanted to vent to my partner; but I didn’t double check who I was texting, and I sent a text about my SIL to my SIL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 229

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Port Talbot

Today, I found out that the girl who I'm really into, and hoped to have a longer term relationship with, has caught threadworms, herpes, and COVID-19 from me. One way to get friendzoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 2 271

Laundry Day

By daqueen009 - 18/12/2020 17:04 - United States

Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 645

Attention to details

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 10:00 - Spain

Today, I spent hours cooking dinner for my date. When they arrived, they told me that I'd probably not paid much attention to their dating profile, as it clearly mentioned that they were vegan, and thus couldn't eat any of the food I'd prepared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 278

Holiday Travel

By FML Videos - 30/11/2018 00:30

Preparation is key!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 65

Making New Friends

By FML Videos - 22/09/2018 00:30

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 60

When you have to raise the bar...

By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris

Not much though... Just a bit higher.

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 113

Scofield scale

By Vlad - 15/06/2022 04:00

Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 745

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 22:00 - Argentina

Today, I hooked up with a single mother. Amazing sex, but now I can’t sleep because her baby won’t stop fucking crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 727

Stoned

By Stereotypical - 30/06/2022 05:00 - Brazil - São Gonçalo

Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 924

Sounds… lovely?

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 389

Playground Oops

By FML Videos - 30/10/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

Help! I'm Stuck!

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 143

Thanks Officer

By Selective Seatbelt Struggle - 01/12/2022 10:00

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 886

Chores Fail

By FML Videos - 01/11/2018 13:30 - United States - New York

Nice.

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 94

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 61

Today, I need a remote position due to a disability, but no company will even try to work with me. My car just died. I'll never be able to live on my own, despite being 30. The worst part? All the people who are gonna reply and call me "entitled." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 686

You deserved it 2 630

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 825

You deserved it 6 139

Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 94

Today, my girl and I with got caught having sex in the car by cops. They thought we were smoking bongs because the windows were foggy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 803

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 4 761

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 026

You deserved it 8 092